


Everything has to start somewhere

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Clintasha - Freeform, Clintasha Baby, Clintasha backstory, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Kinda, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Avengers (2012), What Happened in Budapest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 46,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of the two most famous Assassins.</p><p>How they met, How they became a team and how they became more than just partners.<br/>And what happens after they met the Avengers?</p><p>Will they settle down? Or will life just throw more crap at them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First meeting

_Shoot. Shoot!_  It didn't matter how often he told himself to shoot – he couldn't. He just couldn't kill her. He knew she was aware of his presence. He saw her looking up to him yesterday. He had to do something, to end his mission, but he couldn't. He sighed and let the arrow slide back into his quiver. He grabbed his bow and watched as she drove out of his sight.

He stepped back into the warm hotel room, rubbing his frozen hands. It was cold in Moscow. Really. Cold.

He changed into something more comfortable and laid down onto his bed, staring to the ceiling.

"Shit" he whispered and ran his hands over his face. He was supposed to kill her. He didn't even know himself why he didn't kill her. All he knew was he just couldn't. But the problem was, if he didn't kill her, they would send someone other to do so.

He wanted to think of a plan, but the exhaustion of three days watching her came over him and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

.

 _Come on. Try. Try to shoot me!_ She thought to herself.

She knew S.H.I.E.L.D would soon send another Agent to take her down. She knew she could kill this one just as quickly as she killed the other ones, but she had to admit, he was different. Normally she noticed anybody who tried to follow her immediately. But this time she first noticed him yesterday. She knew he was different. She never fought against an archer before. She knew he would die, but she got the feeling, this was going to be a challenge.

So, now she stood in front of a shopping window, pretending to look at some dresses, but actually watching him aim an arrow at her head. She knew what to expect, so she could dodge the attack, but he hesitated.

 _The next who is too afraid of me_  she thought with a small smirk on her lips, as she turned, took a taxi and drove away.  _Well, let's make a plan then._

.

He awoke with a start, sweating and breathing heavily. He grabbed for the knife under his pillow, running his fingers over the cool blade and trying to focus.  _Just a nightmare_  he assured himself over and over. After a few minutes he calmed down. He laid the knife back under his pillow and ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. Again, he waited a few more minutes, before slowly standing up. He moved into the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face.

As he re-emerged his bedroom/living room, he glanced at the clock on the wall. It read three in the morning. He sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep again tonight. So he put on some warm sport clothes, grabbed his gun and a knife and stepped out of his room. He quickly left the hotel and stepped into the icy cold night air. It was snowing and pretty windy, but that didn't bother him right now. He didn't know where he went, he was just jogging around until he came back to his hotel.

He was freezing, but he ignored it. He just took a shower and sat down on the couch with a coffee. He opened his laptop on the coffee table and looked over his mission description. He sighed and thought desperately for a plan.

Around ten o'clock he still had no idea.  _I guess I'll just improve then,_ he thought as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

After he emptied this one as well, he grabbed his gun and two knives and went out into the already full streets.

It didn't take long for him to spot her bright red hair in the crowds. She just came out of a coffee shop, a cup in her hand and her phone in her other. She wasn't paying much attention on her surroundings, but he knew this was just a show. He carefully watched her expression, and know he knew what to do. But he had to come close to her for this.

He stepped into the crowd, crossed her way and bumped into her, her coffee splashing onto his whole shirt.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed only half faked. "I'm sorry! Ehm…  _Prosti" (Sorry)_ he stuttered in a terrible Russian.

"Net, ya izvinyayus' " (No, I'm sorry") she replied in perfect Russian.

"I'm sorry, I don't really speak Russian" he chuckled.

"Yes, I thought so" she replied, letting her Russian accent slipping through. "God, I'm really sorry. Let me buy you a new one" she continued, pointing to his coffee soaked shirt.

"No, it's okay, really, don't worry" he gave her a confident smile.

"Then let me at least get you a coffee" she demanded.

"Well, to such a nice offer I don't say no" he smiled and the two of them went to the coffee shop she came from.

They entered the small shop within a few minutes. She went to order their coffees and he went to get a table for them. She came back to him with a smile on her face. He returned it, both knowing their smiles were just fake. She sat down next to him, handing him his cup.

"Thanks" he smiled and sipped on his hot coffee. "I don't even know your name" he said after a while.

She smiled, swallowing her coffee. "It's Natasha."

"Clint"


	2. revealing himself

She smiled, swallowing her coffee. "It's Natasha."

"Clint"

They drank their drinks in silence, until he spoke up again.

"Hey, there is this … gala… party… thing tonight in my hotel. I have to go there for my work, and I just asked myself, if you want to come with me to this" He gave her an adorable smile, which she returned.

"I would like to, but… well I'm there tonight, but with another one. I'm sorry"

"Well, this is really too bad" Clint chuckled. "But thanks for the coffee, Natasha" he said, standing up and leaving the coffee shop. He felt her gaze following him as he left and disappeared in the crowd.

_Got you, Natalia._

.

He looked into the mirror for the fourth time now, checking if there were any visible weapons on him. He had to move tonight. He was aware he wouldn't go out of here without a fight, she wasn't the black widow for nothing, she killed … a lot of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents before he was sent to take her down once and for all.

He had hid one gun, two full magazines for it, ten of his throw knives and he had his com. link in his ear to talk to his handler Coulson during the mission.

"Barton, you know how pissed Fury is. Don't mess this one up as well!" Coulson repeated for the thousands time. Clint groaned loudly.

"Yeah, I know! Hey, it wasn't my fault last time in Dubai!" he defended himself.

"Yeah, but you still didn't kill this guy and, incidentally, you got almost killed yourself. So don't let this happen again, you know Fury will probably kill you himself, if you don't kill her."

Clint sighed "Yeah, yeah… thanks for reminding me of this shit." He absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his neck from his latest mission. "Listen, I won't mess this one up, okay? But I have to go now, I'll report later, when everything's clear." He glanced one last look into his reflection, straightening his tie.

"Okay, if something doesn't go like planned –" Coulson started, but Clint cut him off.

"Hey, I'm not a ten years old. It won't go any other way than I planned." He assured with a smirk, tugging on one of his knives.

"Yeah and exactly THAT'S the reason why I'm worried. Because I know you and your plans."

He sighed, stepping out of his room.

"I'm going now. See ya" and with that he cut the line and stepped into the elevator.

.

She was dancing, with some normal looking guy, in the middle of the room. She wore a beautiful, black dress, her red, curled hair touching her shoulders. He had to admit: she looked absolutely gorgeous. But he knew just too well that she was absolutely murderous as well.

He was dancing with a blonde woman, called Anya. He didn't give her much attention, making a little small talk with her in perfect Russian. But after a while he left her and went to Natalia, her real name… well the name that was in her files, and smiled to her. He watched the guy, she was dancing with before, turn and go away.

"Hey" she said with a smile that would turn every other man around her finger immediately.

"Hey" he answered, approaching her. Then he made a bow and stretched his hand out for her. "May I ask you for this dance?" he grinned as she wordlessly took his hand in hers.

They danced for a while, just listening to the music, before 'Natasha' spoke up.

"So, what brought you to Moscow?" she asked, smiling sweetly up to him.

"Like I said. I'm here because of my work, but I have to leave tomorrow"

"Oh, well that's a pity. I bet you haven't even seen all the beautiful things and places here"

"No, I didn't." he chuckled. "Well, not all of them"

"So? Well, who are you working for then, I mean, when they send you to Russia for this" she asked, still smiling.

"Oy, vy znayete , pochemu ya zdes', Natalia" (Oh, you know exactly why I'm here, Natalia) he answered in perfect Russian, still smiling down to her. Her reaction was to just smile wider.

"Da, ya eto znayu. I ya nadeyus', vy znayete, chto vy v konechnom itoge , kak i drugiye vashi agenty sdelali." (Yes, I know it. And I hope you know, that you will end up just like your other agents did.)

"Well, then I think we should change location for this" He switched back to English, stopping the dance and his smile.

"Yes, I guess we should" she answered in perfect English, with no hint for an accent.

They left the dance floor together, leaving the guy she was dancing with earlier, staring after them as they made their way to the elevator.

They went up to the roof together, both watching each other carefully through the corner of their eyes. They stepped out onto the roof, the cold wind blowing roughly, twirling up the fresh fallen snow. He went a few steppes nearer the edge, she stayed in the middle of the roof.

"So? You wanna start?" she asked innocently. "I mean, it's your mission. Shouldn't you at least try?"

"Nope" he replied simply, causing her to raise a perfect eyebrow.

"So? You don't even want to try to kill me? But where's the fun, then?"

"I won't try" he said, stepping closer.

"But?"

"I want to give you a chance." Taking the next step. Her response was only a sceptical look.

"A second chance, to do the right things… To wipe some red out of your ledger" with that he stood in front of her, laying his hands down on her shoulders. But she grabbed them and flicked herself around him, pinning him down on the cold, snowy floor, and holding one of his knives to his throat.

"What are you talking about?" she hissed. Clint stayed as calm as before, not even trying to get her down of him.

"I speak of a new life. I've been watching you for four days now, and when I looked into your eyes the first time, I saw myself. You have seen too much, you have done so much. You've been hurt, you have hurt. I did the same. I was a wreck as S.H.I.E.L.D. found me. I … did things I'm not proud of, but S.H.I.E.L.D. gave me a second chance. S.H.I.E.L.D. gave me a new life. I don't see why you shouldn't deserve the same. You were forced into this life, so why don't start a new one?"

During his speech, she was completely silent, but when he finished, she growled and started to attack him. He dodged all the knife attacks, and within a few seconds, he was on top of her, pinning her down into the snow and taking the knife out of her hand. She struggled against him, but he was stronger.

"Why should I do that?" she hissed.

Clint sighed and stood up, walking over to the edge. He heard the familiar *click* of a gun pointing on him, but he continued walking until he reached the edge. He grabbed behind the wall and pulled out a bow with an arrow he had positioned earlier. He turned around, the arrow already pulled.

"One person here has to die tonight" Natasha/Natalia hissed.

"Then let Natalia die and come with me, Natasha." He said softly, lowering his bow. He saw her gulping, looking at her gun in thought.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me dead. What should stop them from killing me, if I came with you?" she asked, not lowering her gun.

"Me. I'm S.H.I.E.L.D.'s best agent, Fury won't let anybody kill you if I get to talk to him."

"Well, you are pretty confident about yourself, aren't you?" she asked, chuckling bitterly.

"Hey, I say the truth. I've fought against much worse people than you. And I'm still here, don't you think?" he laughed, but she still glared at him. So he cleared his throat and continued "Listen. When I tell them, they'll have to let you live, they will let you alive. I promise. And I hold my promises." He let his bow drop to the floor, holding his hand out for her. After a while she lowered her gun as well, but stayed away.

"And I promise, nothing will happen to you as long as I live. You're so much like me, I did get a second chance, I don't see why you shouldn't deserve one, too"

"You mean it?" she all but whispered after a while. "You really want me to come with you? You'd risk your career just to let me live?" her gaze softened and he nodded.

"I slowly got a feeling you're incredibly insane" she chuckled and finally tugged the gun away. He smiled and picked his bow back up, slinging it over his back.

"God, I'm sure I'll regret it" she said, as they made their way back to the elevator.

Clint joined in with his laugh, though he still couldn't believe he was going to come out of this mission without even a fight. And with him he would bring a top agent… if Fury wouldn't kill him…

.

"So… wanna get a few things before we leave?" Clint asked from the bedroom, where he was packing his things together.

"Yeah, wouldn't be the wrongest thing to do" she replied from the couch.

Clint stuffed all his things into his bag, his weapons on top of his other things. He then pulled out his phone to see tons of messages from Coulson. He rolled his eyes at his handlers over caring habit. He clicked onto the last one to see that Coulson was on his way with the jet to pick him up. The message was a time ago, so he thought they would arrive soon.

"Let's go then?" he asked, getting Natasha's attention. She nodded and they quickly left and checked out, then heading to Clint's rented car.

From observing her the last few days, he knew where her apartment was, so they spend the whole drive in silence. As they reached her apartment, he waited in her kitchen while she went packing her things. He then turned back on his com, only to hear Coulson speak immediately after it was back on.

"God Barton, I thought you were dead!"

"Well, apparently I'm not" he answered and could practically hear his handler role his eyes. "Hey, I'm fine, okay? I'm at the checkpoint in… an hour or so"

"Okay" the older agent sighed.

"Oh and I'll bring someone with me" he said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say after a mission where you supposedly had to kill someone.

Clint could hear the usually inhumanly calm agent choke on his drink. "What? Don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me!"

"Hehe… uhm… yeah, I guess you think the right thing" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Barton! Your mission was to kill her, not to bring her in! Fury will kill you!"

"Hey, why aren't you happy? I brought you the black widow! You know? Black widow? As in 'black widow, the best Russian assassin'? Don't you think she would make a brilliant agent?"

"That's not the point! I know she's good, but we can't trust her! Have you forgotten what she did?"

"I know what she did." He sighed, running his hand over his face. "You still know what I did? She's like me, Phil. She was forced into this life, she has to deserve the same chance as me." He said much quieter. He heard him gulp, knowing he would remind how he found Clint and gave him a new live.

He heard him sigh heavily, before he spoke up again. "We're landing in one and a half. Be there on time" and with that the line went dead again, just as Natasha stepped into the kitchen.

"Sounds like they're all pretty excited about your different call" she said sarcastically.

As a response he grunted, burring his face in his hands again. Then he stood up, walking to the door.

"You're coming?"

.

They sat in the car again, not speaking a word, Natasha looking out of her window, as suddenly something hit beside the car, causing Clint to turn sharp to the right.

"Woah!" he exclaimed, turning his head to see what it was, just like Natasha did.

"Shit" she hissed, grabbing into her bag for a gun. She loaded it and opened the window, leaning out of it and firing.

"Old friends of yours?" Clint asked, while driving like crazy in an effort to dodge the bullets and get away from them.

"Uhm, you could say so" she replied, sitting back down as Clint suddenly turned into a field with the car. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed, while trying to hold on something to not fall through the whole car.

"Trying to get away from your friends, or would you rather like me to hold on so we all could get drink some tea?" he said sarcastically, earning a hard slap onto his arm from her.

"Grab my bow and quiver out of my bag, we're going to hold on, I can't get them off"

She surprisingly didn't give any snarky response, just turned around and did as she was told.

"Coulson, you better get going, we have some guys firing at us here" Clint said into his com.

"This time, I won't say something like 'I knew it' or 'I told you not to do so'. We're almost there, we're locating your gps and be there soon. Stay alive" The agent said jokingly, before cutting the line off.

"You're ready?" Clint asked, as he looked over to see Natasha sit in her seat with two guns in her hands and his bow and quiver in her lap. She just gave a short nod and he immediately stopped the car, grabbing his weapons from her and jumping out of the car. He saw Natasha do the same, and immediately the other guys jumped out of their black car, firing all they had.

Natasha and Clint dodged behind their car, firing too. Soon the others had all an arrow sticking out of their chests, or having a bullet wound in their heads.

Natasha took a deep breath, before speaking up. "So. A bow, huh? You're playing a little Robin Hood?" She grinned, running a hand through her locks.

"I… won't comment this" he answered, slinging his bow over his back and walk back to the driver's door. He saw her roll her eyes and standing up as well. He just wanted to sit down, when he saw something in the back mirror. He quickly turned around, just in time to see a car race to them. He saw Natasha turn and run away a few steps, but he remained where he was, pulling out an arrow and shooting it into the front tire. The other car wobbled still full speed into Clint's direction. He heard Natasha scream "run!" when he was already running, but the explosion that followed, as the cars collided, still sent him flying through the air and he fell limply back down onto the ground.

.

Natasha's ears rang as she slowly sat up. She shacked her head to get the ringing out of her ears, with not much success. She looked around. The two cars stood in flames, a few wreckages were scattered around. Near a small tree laid a man completely limply. Then she saw the bow laying a bit away from him, as well as a few arrows.

 _Shit_.

She slowly stood up, feeling dizzy. She ignored the feeling and the pain in her wrist, and started walking towards the archer. As she approached him, she saw his face and his left hand were almost completely covered in blood, also his white shirt was slowly getting dark red at his left side, under his rips.

She cursed a bit on Russian, before reaching down to his neck to check his pulse.

It was there, steady but not very strong.

She sighed and sat down next to him, slapping him lightly in the face, to make him wake up.

"Hey, Robin Hood! Wake up" she said, but earning nothing more than a low groan.

She sighed again, sitting back, her hands resting limply in her lap, until she heard a jet. She looked up to see a black quinjet trying to land.

She stood back up and took a few steps away from the archer, preparing herself for whatever they wanted to do with her.

Then there stepped an older agent out of the jet, followed by four other agents. As he saw his agent lying limply on the floor, he stopped, turned around and called for a medic team. Then they made their way towards Natasha.

The agent stood in front of her, stopping the other four to not arrest her right now.

"What happened?"

"The car crashed into our car and he was hit by the explosion" she explained shortly. The man nodded. "He's alive" she added, and saw the expression of the agent relax a bit.

"I'm agent Coulson. I'm sorry, but I guess you'll understand that we have to arrest you for now" he said, gesturing to his agents. She nodded and they put her on some handcuffs, and also restrained her feet, before guiding her to the jet.

Coulson went to check on Barton, seeing the doctors were already at work.

"How's it looking?" he asked casually as he approached the scene. He was used to see his agent injured, and this wasn't looking as bad as some of his other injuries.

"He had worse" Doctor Stevens said. He was almost every time there, when Barton got injured, so he knew what he was saying.

Coulson nodded and walked beside them as they carried Clint back into the jet.


	3. further interogation

*beep* *beep* *beep* He heard the familiar annoying sound of a heart monitor, smelling the disgusting scent of the S.H.I.E.L.D. infirmary. He groaned, trying to open his eyes.

"Morning, sleeping beauty." He heard a woman say.

He furrowed his brows, again trying to open his eyes, this time with a little more success. His vision was blurred, but he saw something bright red. As his eyes adjusted, he could see Natasha sitting next to his bed, her hands and feet restrained.

He looked around, seeing two tall S.H.I.E.L.D. agents standing next to the door.

"Hey" he grinned smugly, earning a roll of her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you got me out of there, I thought I'd owe you that" she answered, giving him an almost unnoticeable small smile. A real smile.

He returned it, turning his head back so he could stare at the ceiling.

"Still, how could you manage to convince them to not lock you away immediately?" He couldn't believe Fury was happy to see the black widow running around in his base.

"They did. This... Fury guy and… Coulson … interrogated me for the last five hours… when you decided to bleed like a waterfall and sleep like a stone. I think Fury wants you dead more than me at the moment." She explained.

"Yeah, I thought he would. But hey, he let you alive, that's a good thing." He chuckled, wincing a little as pain rushed through his rips. "How did you convince them to let you visit me?"

"I don't know. I asked Coulson if I could visit you, because I owe you that. He… said something to Fury, what pissed him off even more, but he nodded and went away, and Coulson and these guys" she motioned towards the two guards with her head, "brought me here. I just wanted to make sure that you idiot won't let me alone in here, where everyone just wants me dead"

"Yeah… I actually planned this all a little different"

"Oh,thatwas a plan?"

"Yes, usually I plan better than that. And, hey, for your friends I wasn't responsible!"

She wanted to say something, but one of the guards cleared his throat, speaking up.

"Director Fury wants to talk to you, agent Barton. We are told to bring Miss Romanova back into her cell"

They nodded, Natasha stood up and stumbled to the door, giving a small nod to Barton. After she left, he tried to sit up, preparing for letting Fury rip his head off. He winced at the pain in his left side, but quieted himself as Fury stormed through the door. He reached for the bedside table, grabbing the glass of water that was standing on it, as Fury started to 'speak'.

"What did you think?" he yelled, but Clint continued drinking. "Why did you think, bringing the black widow in would've be a good idea? You do know what she did?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking" Clint said, placing the now empty glass back on the nightstand.

"Don't you dare to make jokes now, Barton" Fury growled.

And Clint stopped. He sighed and explained his boss everything. Fury listened carefully, but Clint could tell he wanted nothing more than to rip his head off. When he finished, Fury was leaning against the wall, his hand on his chin in thought. Clint took a deep breath as he spoke up.

"You're on desk duty until I say otherwise. You have to train the new recruits, including her, and you're responsible for every damn move she makes." And with that he left.

He couldn't quite believe that Fury would let him go away with that so easy. He thought he would get fired, or even arrested, but that was unexpected.

"So, how are you feeling, Barton?" He hadn't noticed dr. Stevens walk in the room, a clipboard in his hands.

"I had worse" he chuckled a little weakly. Suddenly he felt very tired.

"You don't have to tell me" Stevens chuckled. He looked at the monitors, before looking at the stitches in Clint's face.

"Well, dependant on how you're feeling and everything's healing, I… would say you can leave tomorrow, maybe Thursday. But, because I know you, I tend on let you leave on Thursday, because I know you won't stay in bed like you should for the next days."

Clint groaned, let his head fall back into the pillow and closed his eyes. He knew he was right. He never stayed in bed like he was told. He always started training earlier than he should. But he just hated nothing more than to just lie around and do nothing.

"I know you hate it, but you lost much blood, broken rips, sprained wrist… the usual stuff. Just try to sleep and recover" the doctor said before leaving him again.

Clint groaned again, but kept his eyes shut, so he just let the wished sleep come over him.

.

The next day he stayed in bed like he was told… okay, at some point they had to give him some sleeping drugs so he was sleeping half of the day, but… he stayed in bed, didn't he?

But when he finally awoke, it was around four in the morning. He sat up, turning on the light and rubbed his eyes sleepily. He then ripped away the infusion and the heart monitor and slowly stood up. He felt a little dizzy from the drugs, so he stayed at the spot for a moment, before slowly walking out of his room.

He looked around the empty hallway, to see if someone saw him. There was just one doctor he could see, but he was fast asleep in his chair.

So Clint quietly went out of the infirmary, walked down the long, dark hallway, turned sometimes to the right or the left, until he finally reached his quarter.

He typed in his code and stepped inside. He would prefer to recover in his apartment, but he had to stay at the base, mostly because of Natasha.

So he went to his dresser and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, throwing the hated hospital clothes into the bin. Then he threw himself onto his bed, crossing his arms behind his head, ignoring the pain in his body. After a while of just staring at the ceiling he crept under the cold sheet and went back to sleep.

.

Clint awoke again to the beeping of his damn alarm clock, he forgot to turn off before the mission. He groaned, took the clock in his hand, glanced one look at the time and then he threw the clock hard against the opposite wall. He didn't want to stand up, but he sat up eventually, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He swung his legs out of the bed and went into the bathroom to get ready.

After that he went out into the hallway, closed the door, and then he walked to the prison part of the base. He wanted to check on Natasha, because he hadn't seen nor heard anything from her yesterday… well she was in prison for now, but… Coulson could've told him something… actually, he hadn't seen or heard something from him either.

_ Probably he's just pissed of me _ __ he thought as he walked past the many offices.

He reached the prison, typed in his code and was greeted by a few guards, pointing guns at him.

"Woah, Woah" he said, holding out his hands in front of him, to show he had no gun… that was right. He hadn't a gun with him... just the knife he always hid in his shoe.

They all lowered their guns, after the first one recognized Clint and put his gun away.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the infirmary?" the first one asked.

"You know me, Jackson" Clint said, waving the question away. "Where is she?" he asked, walking over to the first cell.

Agent Jackson pointed towards the last cell with his head and Clint nodded and moved to it.

He saw her sitting on the bed, staring at the wall. Opposite of her stood Coulson, calm as always, talking to her.

Clint didn't wait for anything, he just typed in his code again and let his hand be scanned, before walking in.

"…so that- Barton! Ever heard from knocking, or such things?"

"Thought you know me by now"

Coulson just shook his head "You're supposed to be in the infirmary"

"Again, you should know me by now" he repeated, before taking a seat in the chair in the middle of the room, sitting so that his head laid in his Hands, resting on the backrest.

"I'm responsible for this all, so I-"he started, but Natasha cut him off.

"I'm pretty capable of taking care of myself"

"Yeah, I know that, but tell that them" he said, leaning back and gesturing widely around. She and Coulson both rolled their eyes at this.

"Barton, we have to do this, you should know this." The older agent explained.

"Yeah yeah. But you should know that you can trust me, so you should believe me when I say we can trust her." He paused for a moment, before adding "I trust her" his gaze never leaving Natasha's eyes.

Coulson sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I really don't want to know what happened between the two of you, but still we have to do the whole interrogating stuff. So let's just get over with it and you can come out of here faster." The last part he said to Natasha, she and Clint nodded and Coulson continued with her interrogation, Clint silently watching them. When Phil was finally gone they just sat there for a few minutes in silence.

"So you trust me?" Natasha softly spoke up.

"Sure, thought I told you" he chuckled, earning a roll of her eyes. "I mean it. I don't know why, but you've got something on you that just…" he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know, really. I just have a feeling, that I can trust you. I don't know" he chuckled, looking down on his hands. As he looked back up, he couldn't believe what he saw. Natasha was smiling. A true, genuine smile. He smiled back and wanted to give an idiotic remark, but he was cut off by agent Hill's voice speaking through the speakers.

"Barton, recruit training." He rolled his eyes and made no attempt in getting up. "Now!" she barked and he jumped a little, before he remembered he was sitting in a high prison cell, where every inch was filmed. He groaned, and stood up, rubbing his stinging rips, before walking to the door.

"See ya, Romanoff" he said, waving lazily over his shoulder.

"How did you call me?" she called after him, but he ignored her, just smirking to himself as he went to torture the new recruits.


	4. First mission

"Johnson, you're supposed to run  **faster**  than these robots!" Clint yelled, shaking his head. "Not to let them run over your head"

"Haha. Very funny" Johnson groaned as he crawled out of the pile of training robots. Clint chuckled at the sight of his new, beaten recruits. He was probably the worst recruit trainer in whole S.H.I.E.L.D. but he always had something to laugh over.

"Okay, enough for today" he laughed, tossing Johnson and another recruit a towel and a bottle of water. "Same time tomorrow. And who's too late: three miles run!"

They all groaned, but quickly left. Clint smiled to himself, before walking back to his quarter.

He stepped in and immediately groaned.

"Serious, Coulson?" he muttered to himself, before walking over to his bed, ignoring the huge pile of folders and papers on his desk.

"Your job. Recruit training, paperwork… thought Fury told you" the older agent said, stepping out of the shadows.

"Thought I wouldn't see you there, huh?" Clint asked, not looking up from his cell phone.

"There's still a little hope, don't you think?"

Finally, he looked up from his phone, raising one eyebrow. "Really? I don't think so."

Coulson smiled and walked past the desk towards the door. "You've got work to do, agent" he said, patting the pile of paper on the desk, before walking out of the room.

Clint groaned dramatically, throwing his head back. Eventually, he walked over to his hated desk, sitting down and starting his laptop.

He groaned again as he looked through the tons of folders and loose papers. Profile files of the new recruits, lots of his old missions he hadn't done a report of… the list went on and on.

Surprisingly, he started with it all, instead of wasting his time like he usually did. He wanted Natasha to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D. so if that means he had to do the whole stupid paperwork, then he  **would**  do the whole stupid paperwork.

It was around one am when he looked on the clock again. He was halfway through the shit, he, for once, was very productive today. He ran his hands over his face, leaning back in his chair. Then he stood up, only to hear his stomach growl loudly.

"Should get us some food, huh?" he whispered to himself/his stomach.

He dragged himself out into the dark hallway of the 'private area' of the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, making his way down to the cantina. He stepped in; there were exactly three employees, which were just ready with the first part of the night shift, sitting on the tables.

He recognized none of them, so he just went and grabbed a cup of coffee and a few snacks, before heading to the prison part of the base. He didn't know why he went there at… one twenty-three in the morning, but his feet guided him there, so he just walked further, occasionally sipping on his coffee.

He stepped in, was greeted by the snoring of a sleeping guard, and went to Natasha's cell. He didn't really expect her to be awake, but he had to smile when he saw her doing some push-ups. He tipped in his code and stepped in, knowing she was aware of his presence.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked nonchalantly, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She stopped and whipped the back of her hand over her forehead.

"Could ask you the same" she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Nah, I had to do thousands tons of paper work" he answered, throwing a chocolate bar at her. She caught it and glanced at it skeptically.

"What?" he chuckled "I'm not going to poison you"

"Not you, maybe" Clint groaned, holding his hand out.

"Should I prove you?" She rolled her eyes before unwrapping the sweat and biting off a bit.

"See? Nobody wants to kill you" at the look she gave him, he added "at … least not with a chocolate bar"

Clint spent a little time with her, before heading off again to catch some sleep before torturing the new recruits again.

"Night Romanoff" he waved over his shoulder as he walked out.

"You know what my name is" she called after him, but the door was already closed.

.

The next day was exactly like the last day, except of Clint who now was the most hated trainer by the new recruits.

He kept doing his torture on the newbies, doing his paper work, visiting Natasha, interrogating with Fury and Coulson and starting with his own training again.

After a while, Natasha came 'free' and was 'trained' from Barton… What means, she was annoying him as well as the poor recruits. They already had it hard enough with Clint, but with Natasha training with them, they were beaten up constantly.

Natasha was interrogated a lot, but eventually Coulson collected her personal data.

"Hey Romanoff, nice picture" Clint laughed as he looked at her pass photo.

She glared at him with a look that could kill everybody within a ten miles radius.

"Have you looked at your photo?" she rolled her eyes before continuing. "By the way, why do you call me Romanoff? I guess you should know my name, after it was your mission to kill me"

"Well, the first time I heard your name, I understood Romanoff, and I think it sounds better than Romanova, so I'll call you so." He explained with an innocent smile.

"Natasha Romanoff, huh? ... I guess this sounds okay." She said, giving away the hint of a smile.

Clint grinned impossible wide at that.

.

It took a long time, and a huge amount of work, but eventually Natasha became an official Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. She got her quarter next to Barton's, because he still was responsible for her. He finally got away from the whole paper work stuff and could return to field… if there would be any mission for him. So, after his recruits required a new trainer, he just spared with Natasha. They get pretty good along with each other. Even Coulson and Fury were pleased with her, so eventually Coulson became Natasha's handler as well and she was teamed up with Clint.

And finally, they got a mission.

Just a simple mission, get in, get the information, take down the head of the organisation and get out.

They both groaned as they read over the files, but they were happy to have something to do at least. It was a beginning.

So they got ready for the mission.

"Here" Clint said, throwing a black bundle at Natasha.

"What's that?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your suit" he answered, not looking up from where he was half lying in his closet. He pulled out a black box and laid it down at her feet. "And your weapons"

She trained with a lot of weapons at S.H.I.E.L.D. before coming up with a 'list' of which weapons she preferred… and they were all in this box now.

But she was more curious about the black leather suit in her hands.

"Come on, we don't have all day" Clint said impatiently, shoving her out of his room and into her's, so she could get ready. He shoved the box in behind her and closed the door, going back to change himself.

Two minutes later he came back into the hallway, quiver on his back, some knives and a gun strapped to his trousers (you never know if you could need it) and his bow in his hand.

"You're ready?" he asked, knocking on the door. A few seconds later Natasha opened the door, pulling on a holster for one of her guns.

"Yeah, but I don't know yet, if I like this" she said, gesturing to the skin-tight suit.

"You'll get used to it" he said, heading off to the jets, Natasha at his heels rolling her eyes.

They reached the jets within a few minutes, Clint opened the ramp and they stepped in.

"Where's the pilot?" she asked, as she noticed the jet was empty, except of them.

"Right here" Clint said, laying his quiver and bow onto a bench and making his way to the cockpit.

He noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that Natasha froze on the spot. "Serious?"

"Hey, I'm a pretty good pilot, Nat" he said, and before he knew it, he was lying on the floor, flat on his back with Natasha on top of him, holding the tip of a knife on his throat.

"How did you call me?" she hissed dangerously.

Instead of answering, Clint burst out in laughter. She was so perplexed, she stood back up, crossed her arms and glared at him. He just laid there, on the floor of a quinjet, a few minutes before they had to leave for their first mission, laughing the shit out of him.

"O… okay" he breathed out, whipping away a tear from his eye, and standing up.

"Okay,  **what**  was that?" she asked.

"Nothing" he chuckled. "I just liked your reaction. You've never had a nickname?"

"You know where I come from" she said bitterly, walking over to the co-pilots seat.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Can we go now?" she asked annoyed, staring straight out of the window.

"Yeah" He sat down on his seat and checked all the machines, before starting the engines and took off.

.

"Okay, you can go in" Clint said over his com. He was standing on a high roof, looking around for any possible threat that could prevent Natasha from getting the information.

He saw her nodding, then she walked in, kept herself in the shadows and finally found the room where the data was saved. She quickly unlocked the door and hacked into the computer. She saved the information on an S.H.I.E.L.D. USB-Stick, before walking back to the door.

"Everything's clear?" she asked into her com and after she received a 'yes' from Clint, she pulled out her gun and shot a few bullets into the computer, before quickly leaving the room behind.

"Get on the roof, there are two huge groups coming up the stairs. I'll meet you there"

She ran up the stairs, occasionally taking down a few guards. She stepped out into the warm night, seeing Clint jump over the little gap between the two houses. They were quickly surrounded, but they took them all down within a few minutes. They climbed down the fire escape before Clint suddenly pushed her down on the floor. She just wanted to punch him, when she heard something buzz over her head and hit the house behind them. After that there was a loud boom and she felt Clint's body over hers, protecting her from the flying bricks. When the stone rain stopped, he turned to the side and sat down, breathing heavily.

"What did –"she started, but was cut off by Clint.

"Behind ya" he moaned, trying to stand up but failed. Natasha whipped around to see the head of this damn organisation firing at them. He was alone and injured, but Natasha pulled her gun and shot two shots, both hitting their marks.

She sighed, before remembering Clint. She turned back around to see him now lying on his back, staring up into the night sky and taking deep breaths. She wanted to yell at him for doing something that stupid, but she stopped herself, realising he just prevented her from being killed by a bomb at her head, if he hadn't pushed her.

"You're okay?" she asked. She saw him slowly nodding, then he ran a hand over his face and tried to sit up again, groaning a "yeah, I'm fine". She, surprisingly, helped him sit up, noticing his hands were shaking slightly. "What about you?" he asked, earning another roll of her eyes.

"You shouldn't have do this" she told him sternly. Then she sighed and added "You can't fly. Let's get a hotel or something and tomorrow we can head back"

He nodded and with her help stood up, looking around for his bow. She noticed him searching his weapon and found it under a few pieces of wall. She let go of his arm and reached for the bow, handing it back to its owner. He just nodded a thanks, then he saw his arrows lying around, mostly broken. He turned his head to see there was nothing on his back. His quiver broke during the stone rain and was now lying in three huge pieces on the ground.

"I told Coulson I would need a more stable one." He sighed/chuckled, motioning to the broken pieces.

Natasha rolled her eyes again, before they started to search for a hotel.

It was not the smartest decision they could've made, because it was pretty weird for … everybody to see a man with torn clothes and a bow in his hand, slightly leaning against a woman in a dusty, skin tight leather suit with guns and knives walk through the dark streets of Buffalo, searching for a hotel. When they finally found one, the receptionist was pretty shocked and quickly gave them a room.

"Take the vest off" Natasha commanded, as she closed the door behind them. Clint was too tired to argue, so he just obeyed and slipped out of the remains of his uniform.

For the first time Natasha noticed the many muscles on his torso and arms, and she caught herself staring at him. She mentally slapped herself for this and went to grab the medical kit.

Clint felt her gaze on him and just wanted to give a snarky remark, as suddenly the world around him began to spin rapidly and he got the feeling his food wouldn't last any longer inside him.

He noticed Natasha speaking but only caught a few words like "Barton, where – kit – hey!" She stepped closer, just in time to catch him before his head could hit the floor. She grunted under his weight and gently laid him down on the carpet floor, slapping his face.

"Hey, Barton! Wake up, hey!" she groaned. If this was going to be a habit she'll spend the rest of her live with an injured or unconscious or simply just annoying-like-hell partner on her missions. She sighed and turned a bit to see blood on the floor where he was standing before.

She grabbed Clint on his shoulder and turned him on his side to have a better look on his back. As she heard him moan she looked in his face, but he was still out like a light. Only she now noticed that he was pretty pale, which meant he's lost a good amount of blood. She sighed again and started to take care of his wounds.

A little while later, when she finished and went to grab a bottle of water, she heard a low groan from the floor. She went back to see Clint slowly waking up, so she walked towards him and kneeled down next to him.

"How nice from you to join us" Natasha said, helping him sit up against a pillow she laid against the wall, before handing him the bottle.

"Thanks" he moaned, contorting his face. He took a long gulp of the bottle before leaning his head against the wall.

Natasha reached up to the bedside table and grabbed some painkillers. He held out a hand to refuse, but she glared at him with a look that could kill. So Clint sighed and took them, closing his eyes, waiting for the head- and backache to vanish.

After a while, Natasha grabbed his arm and helped him to the bed.

"No, you can take the bed, I'll take the couch" he said.

"Barton, I swear if you don't shut the hell up, I think I'll just kill you finally. This is our second fight together, our first official mission, and you accomplish to get yourself knocked out leaving me again to care for your damn injuries. So, you may get that I'm pretty pissed at you at the moment, so if you don't want to 'fall' out of that window, I'd guess you just shut up and sleep."

Clint really didn't know what to say to this. She sighed and let him alone, stepping out of the room and a few moments later he could hear the shower.

He was almost asleep when he heard her step out of the bathroom, turning out the light and lying down on the couch.

"It could've been worse you know" he mumbled into the darkness, before falling asleep.

But what he didn't see was the small smile that crept on Natasha's face.


	5. tiny troubles

"Tasha, we've got a mission" Clint knocked at Natasha's door for the fiftieth time, now getting pretty annoyed.

"Damn it Barton, I know that! You don't have to tell me this thousand times! And stop with these damn nicknames!" she yelled, finally stepping out of the room.

"Yes, my queen" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Just in the last moment he could dodge the punch and kick that followed.

"Woah, okay" he laughed, walking off towards the jets.

It was their second official mission together, and they both hoped this one won't be like their first one. But Clint knew he would do it again if he needed to.

They quickly made their way to the jets, entering the one that's ramp already was open.

"I hope you two come back uninjured this time" Agent Coulson said as they entered the jet. This mission was going to be in Rome, so Clint won't fly the jet this time. Also they were supposed to stay for around a week, so a black S.H.I.E.L.D quinjet in front of a hotel may look a bit suspicious.

"Didn't plan to" Clint said, placing his bag and weapons under the bench. Natasha rolled her eyes, but did the same before sitting down on one of the two huge benches.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just stay alive and don't bring too much chaos to Rome. Good luck" Phil said, then leaving the jet.

They both rolled their eyes at their handler, before the jet started to fly. Clint took the other bench for himself and laid flatly on his back, his arms behind his head. Natasha sat opposite of him on the other bench, glaring at him.

"What?" he asked as he noticed her glaring. "We have a long flight, and a long mission tomorrow, so why don't catch some sleep" he said, shrugging his shoulders. Natasha just rolled her eyes, but had to admit, he was right. So she reached down into her bag, grabbed her jacket, crumpled it and laid her head on it, face away from Clint and towards the wall. Clint rolled his eyes, but smiled as he turned around and closed his eyes.

.

"Woah! – Nat, behind you!"

"Saw it. Get down!" Clint did just that, before Natasha placed her hands on his shoulders and swung herself over his head, onto the shoulders of one of the many guards and knocked him out.

They were outnumbered, but they were going to win – like expected. They had to take down a whole gang, which smuggled drugs and weapons and such things.

They already had the head down, but there were still a lot of the guards that needed to be taken down.

"Shit" Natasha could hear Clint mutter and as she looked to him, she saw he was out of arrows. He swung his bow at the head of one guard, then kicked him hard in the chest. He quickly slung his bow over his shoulder before throwing one of his knives at the throat of one guard.

This continued, they both shooting or throwing knives and such things.

"Tasha!" Clint ran towards the guard that pointed a gun at Natasha. She turned around at his shout, but didn't move. Clint grabbed the guard's arm that held the gun and pulled it back, just as he pulled the trigger and the bullet shot past Natasha's head. Clint pulled on the man's arm until he heard a loud crack, followed by the guards shout. He took the gun out of his broken arm and shot him in the head.

"That was the last one" he said, tossing the gun to the ground. "You're welcome, by the way" he said over his shoulder as he began collecting his arrows.

Natasha just shook her head and helped him.

.

Back in their safe house, Clint fell face-first onto the couch.

"Are you going to report to Coulson, or shall I?" Natasha muttered tiredly. She wouldn't admit it, but she wanted nothing more than to sleep at the moment.

"Nah, I'll do it. Go get some sleep" he said as he got up again, the last part more a yawn.

She nodded and went to her bathroom, under the shower, before climbing into her bed.

While she did that, Clint called their handler.

"Hey, old man. So, the gang's down" he said before biting loudly into an apple.

"Good, any injuries or something I should know of?" the older agent asked.

"Nope, everything's fine."

"Good, then rest tomorrow, and Thursday you'll be picked up to Venice and –"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Exactly the same like today…. But, if there's nothing else I should know, I'd really like to go to sleep" he yawned again.

"Yes, okay, we'll talk Thursday. Good job, Barton"

"I know" he said before hanging up and shuffling to his own room. He quickly showered before he slumped down onto his bed and was out like a light.

But his well-deserved sleep was interrupted within a few hours, by speaking and screams from the next room.

Clint listened for a moment, before grabbing his gun and getting up. He sneaked through the hallway towards Natasha's bedroom. He quietly stepped into the room and was relieved that she was alone. But she was trashing around in her bed and mumbled things like "No" and "Go away", and occasionally she screamed. Anyone could see she was having a terrible nightmare.

Clint tucked his gun into the waistband of his sweatpants before walking to her side.

"Nat, wake up! Natasha!" he said, while he shook her on her shoulder. He knew he should wake her otherwise, but he didn't want her to suffer in her dream.

And before he knew it, he had her elbow on his nose and he was falling to the floor in shock. As he looked up, she pointed her gun at him.

"It's me, Tasha. It's me! Just me" he assured her, holding his hands out in front of him, to show her he was unarmed… which he wasn't, but…well.

But Natasha just continued to glare at him. Clint didn't dare to stand up, so he just sat there on the floor in front of her bed, holding his hands in front of him, while his nose bled like a waterfall.

"Natasha" he spoke softly, looking her in the eyes.

"Bar- what the hell? Get out of here!" she yelled.

"Natasha, you-"he tried, starting to get up.

"Now!" At this she pointed the gun back at his head.

Clint had his hand over her shoulder, but at the look she gave him (…and the fact she was pointing a gun at his head) he pulled back and nodded before walking back to the door.

"I'm next door, if you wanna talk" he said, before slipping out of the door.

But like he expected, she didn't come to him.

.

„Morning" Clint greeted from where he stood in the kitchen of their safe house, making breakfast for him and Natasha. She was just walking in the room, already dressed.

She didn't give him an answer, just walked past him and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"You nearly broke my nose last night" Clint said, trying to start conversation, but she just glared at him while drinking. Clint sighed and grabbed two plates from the cupboard.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked gently.

"No" she answered simply.

Clint sighed again and turned around to her.

"Look, I have nightmares as well, sometimes it helps to talk about it with someone… With someone who understand what you went through."

"You don't understand what I went through. I think you can't even imagine what I went through" she answered surprisingly softly. "Can we just stop talking about last night and concentrate on the mission?"

She gave him a somewhat pleading look and he nodded, handing her the plate before sitting down on the couch.

"There is not much we could plan. It's exactly like the mission yesterday, only with a few more dangerous weapons. But we'll handle this" he gave her an encouraging smile, which she returned. "I think we should just rest today, so we won't do any mistakes. 'Someone' hit me really hard in the face, so I think sleep is a good option for today"

"You deserved it, Barton" Natasha said with a smile as she stood up again and took her plate away, before heading back to her room. "I'm in my room. Don't dare to disturb me"

"Yeah, we'll see about that" he chuckled.

.

"Left!"

"… Bad idea."

"Shut up and fight!"

"What do you think I'm doing? Drinking tea?"

"Barton, shut the hell up, or I'll shoot you when we're out of here."

"Oh, you wouldn't. I saved you, you wouldn't kill the man who –"

*BOOM*

"Oh, shit" Natasha groaned, slowly opening her eyes. It was red. The grey sky was now burning red. She looked around and quickly saw the reason: Everywhere were flames. The house they were in before was burning like hell, the few trees nearby were already burned to the ground. Natasha had no idea how long she was out, nor how she came out of the house.

She slowly sat up, wincing at the pain in her head and back and legs and… everywhere. She was covered in dust and mostly dried blood, she was a little burned on her left arm and leg, but nothing too bad.

She looked around again and saw a few motionless bodies lying around, some guns laid here and there, a bow, some - Natasha gasped a little as it hit her; the bow. Where was Clint?

She struggled to her feet and stumbled around, looking for her partner. She walked a bit, then picked up the bow. She held it in her hands and stared down on it for a bit. The string was broken. She sighed and looked around again. He couldn't be far away from his bow… well, unless he didn't fall out of the house with her.

Natasha gulped. She wouldn't admit it, but in a strange way this man found a place in her heart – she hadn't even thought she had a heart that could like anyone. But, here she was, worrying about a man she knew for … not even a year. She never thought she would find herself in such a situation. She never thought she could care for anybody.

She shook her head, trying to get rid of this thoughts and the pictures of a burning Clint Barton that crept their way into her mind.

Suddenly she caught movement to her left. She spun around as quickly as she could (which wasn't really fast) and pulled her gun. Until she noticed both her guns were gone. But they weren't necessary. The movement came from a body that tried to sit up.

Natasha sighed again, and made her way over to the man that laid on the floor. She already wanted to say something, but then she noticed, it wasn't Clint. It was one of the drug dealers that had survived. He looked at her with fear in the eyes, but she bend down and quickly snapped his neck.

He would have died anyway; by the way he was bleeding.

She stayed silent for a minute, listening to the rustling of the flames, as she heard static in her left ear. Then she heard Coulson's voice over the com. link.  
"Romanoff, can you hear me?"

"Yes, I'm fine. We need to be picked up" She said, but she wasn't sure if there was a 'we' now.

"Already on its way. Anything about Barton? His com must be damaged."

"I don't know where he is." she said after a while.

"You able to search for him?" Coulson asked after he gulped audible.

"Yeah, I'm already on it." With that they stayed silent and Natasha continued searching for the archer. She passed a lot of dead people, nobody was Clint. But, that meant he was still in the building.

She wanted to give up and tell Coulson that he was dead, but then she heard someone cough violently behind her. She spun around and saw someone stumble out of the burning house.

She couldn't really believe that someone was able to survive in this hell. But he managed it. Natasha 'ran' to him, and before any of them knew it, she hugged him. It was just for a few seconds before she stepped back, but she hugged him, because she was happy he was alive. Neither of them thought she would do something like this. So, he stared at her with wide eyes, before he started to cough again and nearly fell to the floor, but Natasha steadied him and led him away from the burning house, before she helped him sit down and lean against a piece of rubble.

The whole way he didn't stop coughing, sometimes he coughed a little bit of blood. He had some bad burn marks and a deep, long cut on his forehead, but he was alive.

While Clint tried to regain his breath, Natasha told Coulson he was alive.

After a while, Clint could breathe again and leant back against the little 'wall'.

"Hey" he croaked tiredly and grinned. Natasha shook her head

"You're such an idiot. Really, Clint, how- … what?" She interrupted herself as she saw the really idiotic wide grin on Clint's face.

"You called me Clint." he answered proudly and by the look she gave him he added "You always call me Barton… or Idiot. You never called me Clint until now" now he wasn't grinning anymore, but genuinely smiling.

Natasha wanted to punch him, but as he started coughing again, she just gave him a small smile.

"Better than the last mission, huh" Clint said between coughs.

"You're still an idiot" she chuckled.


	6. Sao Paulo

„So, what is so important that I had to stop my workout?" Natasha asked towards the back of her partners head.

"This" he said as he turned around, holding a bottle of Russian vodka and two glasses in his hands. She didn't even bother asking, she just raised an eyebrow at him.

"One year. One year since you're here. Think that's a reason to "celebrate", don't you think?"

"No, but I'll drink you under the table anyway" she responded, stepping closer and grabbing the glasses and the bottle from his hands.

"I know" he chuckled, and sat down on the sofa beside her.

.

They ended up with Clint half lying on Natasha, half sitting on the floor in front of the couch, with Natasha pretty drunk and pretty amused by Clint's reaction to the alcohol.

She didn't bother to stand up and walk to her quarter, so she just stayed where she was, unconsciously snuggling a little closer to Clint.

.

"Woah! Nat, what – Hey! Stop it. Tasha, could you- woah, okay, you wanted it" Clint grabbed her by the foot as she tried to kick him in the head and twisted until she fell down and was lying on her stomach and before she could turn away he pinned her down on the mat with his whole weight.

"So. And now would you explain me what that was? You walk into my training with the recruits, just to do… what? Embarrass me in front of them, or what did you plan? Come on, explain it to me, please I really don't understand it" he chuckled the last bit, standing up again.

"Why was there a present in my room?"

Clint just looked at her with the most stupid expression she might have ever seen.

"What, that's why you're so angry at me? Because I gave you a present? That's why you started this really "spontaneous" sparring match? Because I gave you a present. Really?"

"Yes, really. But my question was **why** there was a present in my room."

"Uhm, maybe because it's your birthday?" Natasha sighed annoyed and started walking away.

"Hey, did you at least open it?" he called behind her.

"Yeah" she yelled and without looking she threw the knife over her shoulder, past his head and into the wall.

"So I guess you didn't like it?"he yelled to her, but didn't receive an answer.

He chuckled before turning back around.

"Okay guys. Uhm… did I say you should stop?" he asked his staring recruits while pulling the knife out of the wall. The newbies quickly continued running.

.

"Where's Barton?"

"The same I just wanted to ask you." Coulson responded. Natasha raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

"Well, I thought you, as his handler, would know where he is. I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"Neither have I" Phil answered in thought. "He had a meeting with Fury, since then I haven't seen him."

"Well, then I think we know who can tell us" Natasha said, as she walked away.

.

"Hill, where's Fury?"

"You can't see him, he's in a meeting with the council" Maria answered, not looking up from her clipboard.

"Well, can you tell me where my partner is? Because not even his handler knows" Natasha said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"This information is classified" Agent Hill answered as she began to walk away, but Natasha groaned and followed her.

"He's got a mission" she stated.

"Classified"

"Where?"

"Classified" Maria answered, still not looking up.

"Agent Hill, I swear, if you don't tell me where he is, I guess I'll just do my sparing with you."

"Sadly, I have to work" she said with a smile, while pushing a door open and stepping inside.

Natasha groaned again, then she decided to walk back to her quarter.

As she turned around a corner, she ran into someone. She just wanted to say something when she saw who she ran into.

"Hey"

"Where were you?" Natasha asked and crossed her arms again.

"Why, did you miss me?" He asked with a tired grin, while he bent down to grab his bow, he dropped when he ran into her. Natasha wanted to say something, when he groaned and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and clutching his side tightly.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly while kneeling down in front of him. When he didn't move, she sighed and pulled his hands away. At the sight in front of her, she hissed.

"Clint, what happened?" The side of his suit was torn and burned and bloody, underneath was just a huge, bleeding wound.

"Nothing, it's okay" he said painfully.

Natasha rolled her eyes at his stubbornness and helped him standing up. She ignored his groans and led him to his quarter. Once inside she laid him down in his bed and went to grab the first aid kit.

She sat down on the bed next to him and turned him around, so he was lying on his back again. She started to open his vest, avoiding the wound.

"Didn't think I'd get you in my bed that fast" he grinned smugly and chuckled, but groaned loudly at the movement. Natasha ignored him, she just started to clean up his wound.

"So, nobody told you?" Clint asked softly. Natasha just shook her head.

"Not even Coulson?"

"Neither did anyone tell him"

"Really? Fury said he'd tell him. I had to leave immediately, and you were nowhere to find, I'd have told you, if I had found you"

Natasha shrugged it off, starting to stitch the nasty wound. Clint hissed again, but otherwise they stayed silent.

When Natasha finished and started to get up, Clint grabbed her wrist.

"Don't leave" he mumbled sleepily.

"Clint" she sighed and put the kit under his bed.

"Please. I'm hurt, come on" he whined.

She sighed again. "You're such a baby. Scoop over."

"Thank you" he whispered and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

She didn't complain.

.

"Tasha, let me –"

"Clint I'm fine!"

"Ah, so what's that red stuff on your back? Paint? Nat, let me have a look. Natasha… Tasha? Woah!"

They had a mission and Natasha was hit with a knife. Nothing bad. They were now back in their safe house, but Natasha wouldn't let Clint look for the wound.

And now Clint could catch her just in time before she hit the floor with her head. She's lost too much blood, now she was unconscious.

He tapped Natasha lightly on the cheek, but she stayed unconscious. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, where he laid her down carefully before getting the first aid kit.

He opened her suit and turned her to the side, so he could get a look on the wound. It needed to be stitched, so it was good she was unconscious. He made quick work on the wound, then he pulled the zipper of the suit back up and removed her weapons. He tugged her under the blanket and changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt before lying down next to her, because there was just one bed in their safe house this time.

.

"…no…No. Let me…NO!" Natasha was having a nightmare again and was trashing around in the bed.

Clint was a light sleeper, he was awake by her first mumbled 'no'. He gently shook her and whispered soothing things to her until she was awake.

She was breathing heavily and looked like a beaten puppy and there was a little tear rolling over her cheek.

"Ssh, Tasha, it's okay. Just a nightmare" Clint whispered into her ear, he had an arm wrapped tightly around her, his other hand running through her hair. After a while she seemed to realize who held her, she looked up at him for a second, then she laid her head back on his shoulder, letting him calm her down.

And he succeeded.

.

"What is it this time?" Natasha asked as she entered Clint's quarter. As an answer he held up a bottle of Russian Vodka and gestured with his broken arm to the two glasses on the coffetable.

He just came back from a solo-mission yesterday with a dislocated shoulder and broken wrist and some littler injuries.

"Second year, and we're still alive. Think we should celebrate"

Natasha rolled her eyes, but grabbed the bottle from his hand and sat down on the couch, pouring their first round into the glasses.

"I'm still drinking you under the table" she stated, with a smile on her face.

"I know"

.

"Tasha, the cover's blown! Get out of there! Now!"

"On my way"

They were on a standard mission in Sao Paulo, but something they didn't know right now went wrong and now there were tons of men streaming into the building Natasha was currently in. Clint was already on his way down of the roof he was standing on, already having taken down some of them.

He ran to the house, taking down everyone he sees. He made his way inside when there're no more men outside.

"Nat, where are you?" he whispered into his com. link as he sneaked through the hallways.

She didn't answer, but he saw her a moment later, fighting three men. He quickly shot two arrows at them and was about to shoot the third one when he heard the bang of a gun and saw Natasha stumbling to the floor. He shot the last one and was about to run the long distance to her when a group of men came along his way. He was shooting and punching and kicking, but it wasn't enough, he ran a few steps out of the group and pulled an arrow, one of his new ones. He shot it and it hit one of the men, Clint started to run again when the sonic arrow suddenly activated itself and the men fell down to the floor, but so did Clint. He was sent a few meters by the shockwave.

It took him what felt like a thousand years, to finally lift his body back up. He was disorientated and confused, normally he should hear the ringing in his ears, but there was nothing. Just a little quiet peep, barely noticeable. But he decided to worry about that later. Now he had to worry about Natasha. He ignored the pain in his leg from the little flight, and got up from the floor, making his way to his partner. She laid where he last saw her, so she probably wasn't hit by the shockwave of his arrow. He reached her and was relieved to see her eyes open and her chest rising and falling. But her eyelids fluttered dangerously.

"Natasha, hey look at me"

He couldn't hear himself speak, but she must have understood him, because she turned her head a little to him.

Clint saw her lips move, but didn't hear anything. He trained his eyes on her lips, trying to read them. He just ignored it for now, he looked for the wound where she was shot. He saw it and hissed immediately. She was shot in the abdomen and it was bleeding rapidly. He opened his vest and took off his t-shirt from underneath and pressed it against her wound, trying to stop the bleeding. He knew he must've hurt her, by the look her face contorted into.

"Sorry" he mumbled, worry clear in his face. He couldn't tell if there was help on it's way, if Coulson knew what was going on here, he couldn't do anything. He couldn't hear anything.

Natasha reached her hand out to touch his cheek, gently turning his head so he was looking at her. She said something, and Clint concentrated hard to read her lips, but she barely moved her lips, so he couldn't really tell what she was saying.

"I can't hear you" he said with sadness in his voice. She grinned and shook her head, before looking back up to him and forming a clear "Thank you" with her lips, before her arm fell back down and her eyelids felt even more heavier. She concentrated her eyes on Clint's, until suddenly a new face was hovering above her. It was Coulson. Clint almost killed him, because he couldn't hear him and now he was standing there. He called for someone, probably the medics, before he turned his attention back to the archer. But Clint's attention was hundred percent on Natasha, whose eyes have closed by now. Clint wanted to start panic, to yell, to do whatever, but the medics hushed him away and took care of Natasha.

Clint stood back and watched them work, not knowing what to do. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to see Coulson standing next to him, saying something while handing Clint his bow. He hadn't even realized he dropped it. He took it and turned around, moving to the jet they took Natasha to.

Once inside he sat down on a seat where he could look closely at her. Not a minute later the jet was already in the air, flying with high speed.

Coulson sat down beside him, but he ignored him. One of the medics, Dr. Stevens, once tried to take a look at Clint's injuries, but he just slapped his hand away and they let him be. Out of the Corner of his eye he saw Coulson speaking, but if he was talking to him, or into his com. he couldn't tell.

After a while he stopped talking and they just sat there, watching the medic, until the jet landed. Clint went off with Natasha, following her. Coulson was probably protesting, saying him that she'd be okay and he should take care of his own wounds, but he couldn't hear him anyway. And even if he could, he would've ignored him.

.

Natasha was okay, she was lying in a bed in the infirmary now. Clint sat beside her, not looking away. He sat there for about two hours now, and it wasn't until two hours later, that Natasha moved again. Slowly she opened her eyes and was just about to panic, when she saw Clint next to her. She said something, probably 'hey' or something like that, Clint just gave her a small smile. She was too tired to form words he could read, so she just laid her head back down. Her gaze wandered around the room and she saw a pen lying on the nightstand. She grabbed it and motioned with her hands for a paper. Clint understood and left, coming back in a second later with a sheet of paper. He handed it to her and she began writing, then she handed it to him.

_ You still can't hear anything? _

Clint shook his head and handed her the paper again.

_ You should let them take a look. _

Clint didn't trust his voice, so he grabbed the pen from her and wrote.

_ I had to make sure first that you're okay. _

He handed it back to her and she shook her head, a small smile on her face.

_You're still an idiot._


	7. Getting there

_ You still can't hear anything? _

Clint shook his head and handed her the paper again.

_ You should let them take a look. _

Clint didn't trust his voice, so he grabbed the pen from her and wrote.

_ I had to make sure first that you're okay. _

He handed it back to her and she shook her head, a small smile on her face.

_ You're still an idiot. _

Clint grinned, though it didn't reach his eyes. He was happy that Natasha was okay, but he knew it has to be bad when he still couldn't hear anything after about five hours. He knew that was bad, he knew he had to go to a doctor, but honestly, he was just afraid. He was afraid of what they were going to tell him, what he might already knew. He was scared.

Natasha slowly woke up completely, eventually sitting up in her bed. Clint still sat in his chair, his elbow on his knee, his chin resting on top of his hand, and his leg was shaking nervously, until he suddenly felt a comforting hand on his knee. He looked up from the spot on the floor he fixated for the last minutes, to see Natasha looking at him in a mix of worry and comfort.

"It's okay" she said clear enough that Clint could understand. He sighed and nodded slightly, looking back to the floor. Her hand left his knee again and she stared ahead. Clint noticed out of the corner of his eye that she was talking to someone, so he turned his head and saw dr. Stevens standing on the foot of the bed. They were talking, but Clint didn't concentrate on what they were talking about, he just stared around the room. He was back to reality when Natasha tapped him on the knee and handed him the piece of paper.

_ Dr. Stevens is going to check on your hearing. No complains! _

He gave her a weak smile but nodded and let him check on his ears. He gave him a skeptical look and scribbled onto his clipboard, then handing him the note.

_ We have to do some tests. It's important to make them immediately and you already ran around with that for long enough now, so please come with me so we get over with it and know what's up. _

Clint ran a hand through his hair and nodded, slowly standing up and giving Natasha a small smile which she returned before following Dr. Stevens out off her room.

.

Clint spent two days doing tons of tests until they finally had enough and let him go. He returned to his quarter and to his surprise he met Natasha in the hallway, still wearing her hospital gown.

"You're feeling better then?" Clint asked, unsure by his voice. He looked closely at her mouth as she responded.

"Yeah, but I'm not the only one who sneaks out of infirmary. … Did it get better?"

Clint shook his head and looked away, continuing to walk to his quarter. Natasha sighed and walked with him.

"Hope you're feeling better. You should rest, though" Clint said as he pushed open his door and gave her a little smile before walking in.

Natasha sighed again and stepped into her own room. But instead of resting, she changed into a jeans and t-shirt and went off to speak to Coulson.

Once she found him they began talking about Clint's test results. Coulson had a copy of the results and handed them to her, explaining them to her.

"There's nothing they can do?" she asked after a while of studying the tests. The older agent shook his head and talked further.

"I'll tell him" she said softly, but with no room for arguments. Phil nodded and after a while of other talk she left and made her way back to their quarters. She tipped in Clint's code (she knew it after he first tipped it in) and stepped inside the dark lit room. She moved slowly, not wanting to startle him, wherever he was. She finally found him sitting next to his bed, staring at the wall. Natasha grabbed a sheet of paper and wrote on it what she wanted to say him. She then walked slowly around his bed, giving him enough time to move. His eyes flickered to her, but he didn't acknowledge her any further. She sat down beside him and stared at the wall as well for a little bit.

"You got news?" he said after a while. Natasha nodded and moved so she sat in his gaze against the wall.

"The sonic arrow wasn't tested enough. It shouldn't have activated itself, but you know that. You were too near to the wave… It extremely damaged your ears; they say… well you've lost 80% of your hearing."

She wasn't sure he understood everything, so she handed him the note she wrote earlier. She regarded him carefully while he read it. When he finished, he crumbled the paper in his hands into a tight ball, starring it down. Natasha took the paper from him and wrote on it again, then handing it back to him.

_ It doesn't mean you're deaf, they can make you hearing aids for the missions, you'll be able to go back in field soon, Clint. And they can get someone who can teach us sign language or – _

He didn't read further, he ripped the paper into pieces, laughed extreme bitterly, stood up and walked out of the room.

Natasha groaned a little before standing up and following him.

.

He was sitting on the edge of the roof of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Base, his foot tangling down the edge.

She walked along the edge, so he could see her. She sat down beside him, staring up into the night sky. She saw Clint open his mouth a few times, but he never said something. She didn't know if he didn't know what to say, or if he just spoke too quiet.

She didn't try to say something. She just took a deep breath and grabbed his hand.

Clint smiled at her gesture, but it broke it all as well. He grasped her hand tighter and laid his head in his other hand, mumbling a 'God' into his palm. She watched him worriedly, running her thumb over the back of his hand. She overcame her old habits, as she saw a little tear rolling over his cheek, and wrapped her arms around him. That broke Clint completely and he started to sob a little.

"Thank you" he whispered, barely audible.

.

Natasha didn't leave his side that night. They sat almost the entire night on the roof before they eventually headed back to Clint's quarter. No one said a word; Natasha just led him back to his bed. She didn't want to leave him, so she crawled in bed with him and snuggled closer to him. She noticed that he relaxed in her touch immediately, but he was still tense. It took a while, but eventually Natasha fell asleep somehow. Clint didn't.

When Natasha awoke the next morning, Clint was gone. She sighed and stood up, looking around in his quarter for any sign of him. She saw his bow, which he usually kept beside his bed, was gone, so she knew where to search him.

She made a little stop at her quarter to change and clean up a little, then she headed to the shooting range. She found him shooting rapidity, each shot hitting perfectly. His quiver was almost empty, so she waited for him to shoot his remaining arrows, before she started to retrieve them from the marks and handed them to him. He glanced at her for a moment with sad and tired eyes before taking the arrows and retrieving the others.

She hated it. She hated this silence. Usually Clint always gave snarky comments or idiotic jokes, but they came perfectly along with each other, Natasha would never admit it, but she cared for him, he … he was her best friend. She never had a friend. Natasha trusted Clint. She trusted him with her live, and so did he. But now, he wasn't himself anymore. He was so quiet. Natasha never saw him quiet at S.H.I.E.L.D. he almost always talked or … at least did anything. She didn't want to see him like that. But she didn't know what to do to help him.

"Coulson said he's got a mission for you" Natasha was really surprised to hear Clint speak up, she turned around and looked at him questioning.

"He spoke with Hill, at least I think they spoke about a solo mission for you. You should ask him." He spoke softly, but didn't look her in the eyes. He walked passed her, ignoring that she was trying to talk to him, and left the shooting range again.

Natasha sighed again. She believed what he said, but she didn't want to speak with Coulson now. Suddenly she was pretty angry. Angry over herself. She knew Clint would never say something like this, probably never even thinking something like this, but Natasha blamed herself for what happened to him. If she'd have been a little more carefully during her fight with these guys she wouldn't have been shot down, and she could've helped him with the group so he hadn't needed to use the new arrow. It was stupid to think that way, but she couldn't stop it.

She grabbed a gun and began shooting a few rounds, what meant she spent almost the whole day in the shooting range until she finally felt better. She left and went back to her quarter, showering and changing. Then she started to search for Coulson.

She found him in one of the long hallways.

"Barton said you've got a mission for me?"

"Huh? Oh, agent Romanoff. Uhm, no, no there is no mission for you at the moment." Phil looked surprised and a little confused, but recovered quickly.

"But it's good you're here, I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"So?" she urged him to talk further.

"Well, I'm a little worried about Barton."

"So am I" Natasha muttered, barely audible.

"I know. Natasha, he needs you. He needs you really. All the years he asked me why I gave him his second chance, what I've seen in him to let him live. … And I guess you are the reason. He was breaking, he needed someone like you. Someone who can hold him together. And I know you need him too. I know he'd do anything for you, he proved it already. Now he needs you. You're the only one he lets be near him."

Natasha slowly nodded her head, it made sense to her. She needed him, he was the one who showed her she was still human. And now he needed her.

"Guess you're right" She muttered, then she turned on her heels and left again.

"Make sure I can send you back into field soon" Phil called after her.

Natasha walked back to their quarters, stopping in front of Clint's door. She waited a little moment, before tipping it his code and stepping into the dark room. She found him sleeping in his bed and she just wanted to turn back around and leave, when he started to trash around and to mumble things in his sleep. She approached his bed when he started to shout and then he was cutting through the air with his knife and Natasha decided it was enough. She reached and grabbed the knife from him, putting it out of his reach. He struggled and started to fight against her, they both suddenly lying on the floor. He was awake now, but he didn't understand what was going on, and when he saw Natasha he didn't recognized her at first. He grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her up against the wall. She stayed still, leaving him time to recognize her. After a while he did and he let go of her, stepping a few steps back before stumbling to the floor.

Natasha was kneeling next to him immediately, wrapping her arms around him. She ran her hands over his back, trying to calm him down. He had his head lying on her shoulder, breathing heavily. His whole body was shaking and he was sobbing into the hem of her shirt. He felt her lips move against his ear, he knew she was talking, and it killed him not to be able to hear her. And now he cried. Natasha noticed and she pulled away slightly, holding his face in between her hands.

"You're not alone, Clint. I'm here, we'll make it" she formed for him, clear to read. "It's going to be okay, Clint." He smiled a little, cupping her cheek in his hand. He looked her in the eyes, before nodding slowly. He leant his forehead against hers for a moment, letting his hand drop back to his side. She slid her hands to the back of his head and pulled him against her shoulder again.

"It's okay" she whispered again.

"I love you Tash" he muttered quietly into her hair. Her eyes grew wide, but she nodded her head.

.

"Okay, and… now you should be able to hear again" Clint and Natasha were with Dr. Stevens and another doctor, adjusting Clint's new hearing aids. It took Natasha a lot to finally convince him to go, but she managed it. She sat a few meters away from him, hoping they worked.

Clint finally nodded and gave away a "Yeah", smiling a little. Natasha sighed of relieve, now feeling a little better. The doctors left for a moment and Natasha walked over to where Clint was sitting.

"Say something" he breathed out, smiling hopefully at her.

"And what?" she chuckled nervously. Clint jumped up from his seat and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"God, I missed your voice" he mumbled into her hair. "Please say something again."

"But I don't –"she was cut off by Clint backing away from her and fiddling to get the hearing aids out of his ears again. He held them in his hand and they made a shriek peeping sound.

The doctors were back in, they saw what happened and grabbed the hearing aids from his hand. Dr. Stevens started to look at his ears and when he was ready he started to write something down, but Clint was walking out of the room.

"This shouldn't have happened" the doctor muttered.

"Well, but it **did** happen" Natasha snapped. "Get them to work properly" she said, before following her partner out of the room.

She found him storming out of his quarter with a bag over his arm and a key in his hand. She walked along with him a little, before snatching the key out of his hand.

"Natasha!" He seemed to yell really loud, because Natasha twitched a little and stared at him.

"I- I'm sorry, Tash. I -" he sighed and ran his hands over his face. Natasha grabbed his hands and removed them from his eyes, forcing him to look at her.

"Where do we go?" she asked with a little smile on her face.

"Home" he answered and they walked to the cars, driving through the city back to Clint's apartment.

.

Natasha was already a few times in his apartment in New York, she also had a few clothes and such things here, just for emergencies. She was in the bathroom for just one minute, but when she came out again, Clint was gone. She sighed again and looked around the apartment. When she saw he wasn't here, she walked to the staircase and up to the roof. Like expected he was sitting on the edge, his feet hanging down the wall. She sat down beside him and stared at the city with him. Eventually she grabbed his hand again.

.

It took a huge amount of time and hard work (and a few threats), but eventually Natasha managed to bring Clint to someone who would teach them sign language. They learned pretty fast, soon they could communicate this way.

The doctors repaired Clint's hearing aids, and this time they worked pretty good. He had to accustom on them first, but soon he could be back in field with Natasha.

They made it.


	8. The hospital fire

"Stevens, where is she?"

Clint was storming into the S.H.I.E.L.D infirmary, still in his suit with his bow over his shoulder. Dr. Stevens pointed to a room a few meters away and Clint walked further, pushing the door open and he froze on the spot as he saw her.

If it wasn't for the steady beeping of the heart monitor, he'd think she was dead. Her usually pale skin was even paler, she had her arm in a sling and a bandage around her head and there were multiple tubes sticking out of her.

"What happened?" Clint finally found his voice again, waiting for an answer from Coulson who was standing in the room.

They were sent on separate missions for the first time and Clint has just finished and started the jet when Coulson called him and said Natasha's hurt. He flew even faster and went to the infirmary right away.

"She was following the mark in a car, when a truck hit her car… She had internal bleeding, a head trauma… She's in a coma since yesterday."

"Since yesterday?! And you just called me an hour ago?" Clint yelled at his handler.

"She was stable when I found out. She wouldn't wake up until you were here, there was no need to stop your mission. Barton, get yourself cleaned up, I'll wait here."

Clint was furious, but he nodded and glanced at her for a moment before walking out again to shower and change. Ten minutes later he was back in her room. He crossed his arms and waited for his handler to leave, then he pulled a chair to her bed and sat down. After a while he grabbed her hand and started to talk to her.

.

Clint spent every day with her, he wouldn't leave her, he barely slept, and when he did, he slept for around on hour in that uncomfortable chair. He only ate when Coulson was threatening to give him another partner when he wouldn't eat.

Natasha recovered faster than other people, because of what they did to her in the red room. But still, it was now the ninth day of her coma and Clint was slowly getting insane.

It wasn't until the twelfth day, that Natasha was waking up. Clint still held her hand, but she was struggling and gasping and he was just trying to calm her. Her heart rate sped up and her eyes shot open. Clint was trying desperately to calm her, telling her soothing things until her breathing was almost back to normal.

"That's right, Tash. Just me. You're safe, I promise." Natasha nodded her head and laid back in her pillow, taking deep breaths. Clint sighed of relieve when she calmed down and he gave her a glass of water, which she took gratefully.

When she finished she gave him a warm, little smile. He returned it, happy she was getting better. She felt her eyelids getting heavier again; she scooted over a bit and padded the side of the bed. Clint grinned and laid down next to her, tugging her under the blanket and lying an arm around her. She laid her head on his chest and she immediately felt better. Within a few minutes she was asleep again and Clint quickly followed her.

.

Natasha awoke a few hours later again, still lying close to Clint. She looked up and saw he was awake. She smiled at him, then she laid her head back down again.

"Hey" she whispered into the blanket.

"God Tasha, you have no idea how scared I was" he mumbled. "I thought I'd lose you" She could hear that he was fighting tears, and she was really sorry that he cared so much for her that he was so hurt when something happened to her.

"I'm sorry" she whispered finally. She felt Clint chuckle softly and they both relaxed again.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I'm okay. What about you? You looked like you haven't slept in days."

"Well, that could come from my lack of sleep the past twelve days" he admitted.

"Twelve days? I was out that long?"

"Yeah" he answered quietly. They stayed quiet for a while until Natasha spoke up again.

"You know I would never say that I love you too, do you?" She felt his head nod a little. "But that doesn't change a thing on the fact  **that**  I love you too." she admitted quietly.

"I thought love was for children" he chuckled.

"Hey, you know it's not easy for me to say something like that" she protested quietly.

She didn't look up, but she knew he was smiling, and she felt him plant a kiss on her head.

.

"Tasha!"

"What?"

Natasha was lying on Clint's couch in his quarter, almost falling asleep when Clint yelled and she sat up immediately.

"We forgot our third anniversary!" He exclaimed like it was the end of the world. Natasha glared at him like she would kill him every moment.

"Seriously?" she snapped.

"Yes, seriously! How could I forget?!" he went and grabbed the Russian vodka, he always had in his room for her, and the glasses and brought them to the couch.

"God, I think someday I'll kill you" Natasha groaned into a pillow.

"Nah, you wouldn't" Clint chuckled and handed her the glass.

"You'll see" she grumbled into the pillow before taking the glass from him.

.

They came back from a though mission, each going into their own quarters. It was after four hours of searching sleep that Natasha walked out of her room and into Clint's. She found him staring at the ceiling in his bed. She walked towards the bed and crept under the blankets, resting her head on his chest.

"Can't sleep?" Clint mumbled into the dark. She shook her head and Clint started to stroke her hair until they fell asleep.

.

They were on an undercover mission.

They were dancing in a huge ballroom.

It was perfect. She looked gorgeous and he couldn't stop admiring her beauty. He knew he had to tell her.

.

It became a habit to them. Natasha came every night in Clint's quarter and slept with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. At some point Natasha wouldn't even try to get sleep in her bed, she'd just stay with him. They both had almost no nightmares anymore, and when they had they could calm each other down within minutes.

And Clint could finally take his hearing aids out of his ears while sleeping, because he hadn't to worry about someone walking in or such things. Natasha was there and he felt safe with her.

He needed to tell her.

.

Nobody spoke it out loud, but they both knew Natasha was secretly moving in in his quarter, as well as in his apartment. She felt better with him, safe, she could sleep again, and she knew there was more inside her, that she couldn't say him. She couldn't loose him. She couldn't tell him. It was for children.

.

"Barton, Romanoff, I'd like to see you two coming back in one piece, this time. I think it won't be too hard for you?" Agent Coulson said to his two assassins. They were still in the jet, Natasha and Clint getting ready for their mission.

"Yeah, yeah, we got it after the first five times, Coulson. Get in, get out, bla bla bla. We're no newbies, Phil" Clint spoke up, opening his bow.

"Yeah, we're ready before you know it" Natasha chimed in. Coulson chuckled and hushed them out of the jet.

.

" _Where is the moment we needed the most_ _  
 _you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost__ "

"Clint, what the hell are you doing up there?"

" _They tell me your blue_ _sky's fade to grey_ _  
 _They tell me your passion's gone away_  
 _and I don't need no carryin' on."__

"Barton, seriously, what are you doing?"

" _you stand in the line just to hit a new low_ _  
 _you're fakin' a smile with the coffee to go_  
 _You tell me your life's been way off line_  
 _you've fallen to pieces every time_  
 _and I don't need no carryin' on"__

"Okay Clint. This song is nice, but why are you singing this during a mission?"

"Romanoff, you better get used to this, whenever he's bored he sings" Phil chimed in with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I know it's nothing to do now, but still he should concentrate."

"You'll get used to it"

" _Cause you had a bad day, you're takin' one down_ _  
 _you sing a sad song just to turn it around_  
 _you say you don't know, you tell me don't lie_  
 _you work out a smile and you go for a ride_  
 _you had a bad day, the cam'ra don't lie_  
 _you're comin' back down and you really don't mind_  
 _you had a bad day... you had a bad day"__

Natasha just sighed.

" _well, you need a blue sky holiday_ _  
 _the point is they laugh at what you say_  
 _and I dont need no carryin' on...__  Tasha, they're coming"

"Wow, you stopped! Didn't think you would even pay attention."

"Sure I pay attention. I'm a multitasker."

"Aha. Okay, let's get going then."

.

"Uhm, Nat? I think they've planned something with the hospital… Nat, what are you doing? Natasha! Natasha don't dare to walk in there now! Na- Oh, so you just turn off our com or what is going on? Coulson did you get that? She just turned off her com!"

"Barton, don't act like a teenager, just get her"

"Hey what do you think I'm doing? I'm already inside, old man."

Clint stepped into the hospital, greeted by panic. The nurses were getting patients out of the house, some were screaming, they were all panicking.

Clint ran past them all, searching for Natasha.

"Coulson, get her com back on!"

"I'm already on it."

Clint made his way up a few floors, until he noticed it. He first smelled it, then he saw it. The few upper floors were burning.

"Barton, where are you?" he heard Natasha cough and he sighed of relieve that at least her com was back on.

"Uhm, good question. Next one, where are you?"

It was silent for a while before she spoke up again.

"Behind you" she coughed and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Let's get out of here, damn it" He shoved Natasha forward and she began to run, Clint at her heels, when one of these damn guys that started the fire, attacked him. Natasha didn't notice, so she ran further. Clint had the guy knocked out within a minute, then he started to run again.

Natasha was already on the second floor when she heard a little voice call for her mommy. She turned around and saw a little girl crying. She had a bad burn mark on her left arm and Natasha grabbed her and ran outside with her.

When she was outside of this mess she saw no sign from Clint, so she went back in. Everywhere was fire now, and it was hard to see. She called in her com, but didn't receive an answer.

She must've been in the section for children now, it was burning everywhere and there were at least ten dead children. Natasha found herself unable to walk further, she stood there for what felt like years, until a huge piece of ceiling fell in front of her feet and she could walk again. She coughed violently and called for Clint, seeing more and more dead people lying around.

She was in the second floor again when she found him. He was lying under a huge piece of ceiling and was lying in a little pool of blood. She thought he was dead. She slowly approached him and saw him move his hand a little. She sighed, what ended up as a cough and started to remove the rubble from above him. He groaned and she started to drag him out of this burning hell. After a few minutes he awoke and moved and they both fell to the floor, coughing violently.

"Tasha" was the only thing he got out.

"We need to get out of here. Can you walk?" she asked between coughs and while helping him up again. He tried to walk, but his legs gave away and he sank back to the floor.  
He shook his head while coughing and Natasha started to drag him again.  
Somehow they managed to get out of the hospital.  
They fell to the floor a good distance away from the fire and the ambulance. They leant against the wall of a house, coughing and trying to catch their breaths.  
After a few minutes they only coughed a little and leant against each other, backup already on its way.

"Tasha, I need to tell you this now." Clint started between a few coughs.

"I love you. I really love you. You're there for me all the time, you help me with these damn nightmares, I feel safe with you, I –" he couldn't continue his ramble because Natasha pressed her lips firmly against his. He stared at her with wide eyes, before lying his hand on her neck and kissing her back.  
"Didn't think I notice it?" she asked with a smile as she pulled away. "You can't lie to me, Clint"  
He grinned widely pulled her closer to him, planting a kiss on her forehead.  
"You wanna try this?" he asked after a while, gesturing between the two of them, looking at her closely.  
"I think it'll be dangerous. They could use us to hurt us."  
"They already do. Everybody can hurt me through you, Tash." he gave her a weak smile, while blood ran down his cheek from a cut on his hairline.  
"Love is for children" she said, but didn't even convinced herself with that statement.

"Then let's just be children" he chuckled, running his thumb over her dust covered cheek.

"Okay" she whispered after a while.  
"Okay" he whispered as well, tugging a little burned red lock behind her ear and kissing her again.

"Could get used to this" she mumbled against his lips with a smile. She felt him grin widely and they remained curled up against each other while waiting for Coulson to pick them up again.


	9. Budapest

They were back at base now, but they both were brought to the infirmary for at least the night, because of their burns and the smoke in their lungs. It showed that Clint broke his leg while under the rubble so they wanted him to stay a little longer. But they weren't top assassins when they couldn't even sneak away from an infirmary with a broken leg.

So they were quickly back in Clint's (by now 'their' quarter), changing out of the hospital clothes and into sweatpants and t-shirts and laid down in the bed. They didn't want to sleep now, they both knew there'll be nightmares this night. So they watched a movie and ate some snacks Clint kept in the room. Eventually they fell asleep and it didn't take long for Natasha to find herself lying in Clint's arms sobbing. He stroked her hair until her breathing was almost back to normal. He then pulled back slightly to look into her beautiful green eyes.

He'd taken out his hearing aids before falling asleep, and because he knew she wouldn't trust her voice (neither did he), he just signed what he wanted to tell her.

" _You wanna tell me?"_ She sighed shakily before signing back.

" _There were all those children… Clint, they were burning and I couldn't help them, they were all dead. And so were all those other people… They all died"_  she was crying at the end, and she leant back into Clint, searching for comfort he always gave her. He stroked her hair again and placed kisses on her head.

"They weren't all dead, Tasha. There were a lot of survivors. I know, a lot of them died, but even more survived, Tash. There was nothing we could do for the others. We did what we could" he whispered into her ear and she nodded slowly.

.

The second time they awoke that night was again because of Natasha.

She was crying into Clint's shoulder now, not able to talk or sign. Clint rubbed soothing circles over her back over and over again. It took a lot of time until she finally calmed down. She told him it was the same dream like before and she curled up against Clint again.

.

It was the third nightmare that night, and this time it was Clint's. He was shouting 'Tasha' over and over again and there were already tears streaming down his face until Natasha managed to wake him. His whole body was shaking badly and he was coughing and panting and Natasha just held him close to her and ran her hand along his spine.

It took around fifteen minutes until he could find his voice again and he mumbled into her shoulder.

"You were dead, you- you were lying in front of me, burning and I just- " he couldn't quite finish the sentence, he chocked and coughed again, then he just let it be.

Natasha took his head between her hands and forced him to look into her eyes.

"I'm here, Clint. I'm alive, we both are. You can't get rid of me that easily" she said clear enough for him to read her lips. At the last part he gave her a weak smile.

"I never wanna get rid of you anyway"

"That's good, because you can't. … I won't leave you, Clint." she said quietly, leaning in and giving him a kiss.

When they pulled away he laid his head back on her shoulder, unconsciously grabbing her around the wrist to feel her pulse, reassuring himself that she was real, that she was with him.

.

"Hey" Natasha stepped into the sickening white room, smiling at Clint. He smiled a weak smile and put his hearing aids back on.

"How are you feeling?" she asked while sitting down on the chair next to his bed. He contorted his face a little as he sat up.

"I'm perfectly fine, they just won't let me leave here", he said, but his voice betrayed him. Natasha rolled her eyes at his stubbornness.

"Come on Tasha, you're my girlfriend, you have to help me out of here" he whined with a grin, because he knew what would follow.

"God Clint, don't call me your girlfriend, we're no teens anymore, and if you haven't almost died, I'd probably send you into infirmary myself."

"But I  **have**  almost died, so you have to be nice to me" Clint continued with a smile. He stopped immediately when he saw the hurt look on Natasha's face.

"Yeah Clint, and that's the point. You almost died. I could've lost you" she whispered the last part and grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers.

"I'm sorry, Nat." He whispered and she nodded and pulled herself back together and grabbed a bag from the floor next to her.

"What's in that?"

"Well, because you decided to take a bullet to your lung that was meant for  **me** , and you spent the last two weeks in a coma, we forgot our fourth anniversary." She said, while pulling out two glasses and the bottle of Russian vodka out of the bag. Clint looked like a child on Christmas, grinning widely.

Natasha poured the first shots and handed him the glass. She watched him carefully while he drank and couldn't stop the smile that reached her face. He gulped it and looked bitterly disappointed.

"Tasha" he whined. "You really put water in the bottle?" He looked really disappointed.

"You just woke up from a coma, you’re still in intensive care and you think I would just give you vodka?" Natasha laughed, taking the glass from him and placing it on the nightstand.

"Oh, come on Clint, don't look at me like that" she chuckled softly and climbed into the bed next to him.

"That was really mean, Tash" he said with his pouty puppy eye look.

"Oh, come here" she padded his cheek and brought his lips to hers. "You forgive me?"

"Mh… Not yet" he answered and kissed her again.

.

"NO! NO, LET HER GO!"

"…Clint?"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up and let her go!"

"…Tasha?" Clint shook his head, trying to come back to reality. The past few hours were a blur to him and just a few memories slowly came back to him. He opened his eyes and found himself in a dark lit room, hanging down the ceiling in chains. His shoulders were sour from this position, his head hurt like hell and he felt something warm flow down his face and over his, why ever, bare chest; he knew it was his blood.

He looked around the small room and found Natasha hanging in the same position like him at the opposite wall, her eyes closed but her chest raising and falling. She had a deep gash at her forehead and a few bruises in her face. There were cuts, some deeper than other, all over her body and her shoulder looked pretty dislocated.

Clint struggled in his chains, trying to get out, but it was hopeless. He could try to break his hand, but even then he didn't know if he would be able to come out. He then started to call her, trying to get her to wake up.

He was shouting now (worst decision you could make in his situation), and she really woke up.

"Clint?" she whispered roughly when she adjusted to the situation.

"Yeah, Tash, it's me. What-" he couldn't finish his sentence because the metal door swung open and their mark stepped in with a few guards following him, guns pointed at the two of them.

"So, nice to see you awake" he said stepping in front of Clint. "You wanna tell me what I want to know, now?" he asked sweetly.

"Go to hell" Clint snapped, and he quickly got a few punches in his gut.

"So? Maybe your partner here will tell us something?" he turned around to Natasha, slapping her hard in the face when she didn't answer.

"STOP IT!" Clint yelled, but he ignored it. He leant in close to Natasha and grabbed her by her chin.

"Still nothing?"

As an answer she spat him in the face and he slapped her again.

"Make sure she watches!" he called over his shoulder to one of the guards and he went and grabbed her head so she looked at the men in front of her.

"Maybe this makes you talk" he hissed and grabbed something from a table someone brought in. Natasha wanted to say something but Clint shook his head and she kept quiet.

The man placed the pliers on Clint's finger and with one swift motion ripped the nail out. Clint clenched his eyes shut and bit his lip to prevent the sounds of pain to slip out of his mouth.

"Still nothing?" the man asked Natasha and she just glared at him. "Okay"

He continued to rip his fingernails out one after one until all five were gone.

"You're not going to say something, are you?"

Clint shook his head and Natasha remained still.

"You're making it really hard for me you know?" He sighed dramatically and laid the pliers back on the table, grabbing a whip.

"No. No, stop it!" Natasha yelled.

"Well, when you're telling me what I want to know, I'd stop. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Natasha, no. Don't say anything." Clint glared at her and before she even could say something, the whip was cutting over his chest and he couldn't stop the little shout that escaped his throat. But before he could be whipped again the door flew open and S.H.I.E.L.D agents stormed in. They opened fire at the guards and they were down within no time, so was the mark. The agents started to free Clint and Natasha and helped them outside and into the waiting jet. Once inside they were forced to let the medics take care of them. Natasha lost consciousness during the flight and Clint removed his hearing aids because he really didn't want to hear anything from anyone right now.  
That was really the only good thing his damaged ears gave him – he didn't need to listen to everything.

Back at base they were brought to the infirmary, though Clint insisted he was fine. But he was glad to just lie down and relax, always having an eye on Natasha who was sleeping in the bed next to him. Their beds were close enough for him to grab her hand and he closed his eyes.

.

The next time he awoke, Natasha was still sleeping, but Coulson was standing next to his bed. He turned around, let go off her hand and put his hearing aids back in.

"What's up, old man" He tried to sit up, but his head was just hurting too badly. Phil sighed and pulled a chair to the bed, sitting down.

"So? What happened?"

"Honestly, I have no clue. Really, I know nothing except of leaving the jet and waking up there."

Phil sighed but nodded.

"Okay, then something different. What is going on between you two?"

"Could we talk about that another time?" Clint groaned, closing his eyes again.

"No, we can't. I need to know that now. I need to know if you're relationship restrict your ability in the field."

"What should that mean? We can't be partners anymore when we're together?" Clint's eyes shot open at the thought of that. Phil remained silent.

"You can't separate us. Neither in field nor private, you just can't, Phil."

"You know I would be the last one to do so, Clint. I'm glad you two are happy. I just need to know if you're still capable as a team."

"Sure we are" Clint groaned and closed his eyes again.

"Get better, you two" and with that he left again.

.

"Hey"

"Hey, you know what's today?"

"Already our fifth" Natasha sighed with a smile.

"Exactly. This time I'll drink you under the table" Clint said with a grin, pouring them their first round.

"Maybe in your dreams" she scoffed and gulped the content of her glass, then she threw a pillow from the couch in Clint's face and he laughed.

"That's the revenge for last year!"

"But you were in intensive care Clint!" she argued, then she threw herself on him, sparring a little with him in the middle of their apartment.

When she pinned him securely on the floor he began to laugh and she laughed with him and leant down to kiss him.

.

Exactly one year later, they were sent on a mission to Budapest. Right now they were undercover in a ballroom.

"You look beautiful, Tash" Clint whispered into her ear while they danced to the slow music.

"You look pretty handsome yourself" she whispered back and looked up at him, stealing a kiss from him.

"We should definitely dance more often" he said, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Yeah" was all she said.

They stayed quiet after that, just listening to the music and waiting for their mark to arrive. After a while Clint spoke up again.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Natasha answered a little confused. Clint hesitated a bit before answering.

"Would you marry me?"

"What?" she stopped the dance and looked up at him.

"Nothing" he answered with a faked smile.

"Clint… I-"

"No, really it's okay Tash" he still smiled at her, then he turned to get them some drinks.

"Yes."

"Wha-" Clint was a shocked to hear that, but he stopped to speak when Natasha threw her arms around her neck and kissed him lovingly.

"Yes" she whispered against his lips. "Yes I would"

.

"Are you okay?" Clint asked as he helped Natasha up again.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she answered, rubbing the back of her head.

"Then let's get him back" She nodded and they started to head out of the hotel, which was empty by now except of the few dead people that didn't make it out in time.

Shortly after his proposition their mark sent men that attacked the ballroom in the hotel, but most people could flee because they concentrated their attack on Clint and Natasha. She was knocked out, but she was okay. The men were gone now, but Clint managed to put a tracker device on one of their cars. They weren't far away from them, and they made their way there quickly, Clint grabbing his bow from its hiding place as they stepped out of the hotel.

When they arrived they were greeted by a gigantic army. It was hard work, there were a lot of grenades that flew around, bullets, knives, and it took what felt like years until the two agents were finally in the room their mark was hiding in. They stormed in, but he was gone.

Clint groaned dramatically and rubbed his jaw, where he was hit pretty hard. Natasha sighed as well, her beautiful black dress was torn and burned and her legs hurt like hell.

"Let's find this son of a-" Clint started but stopped himself when he noticed his left hearing aid was broken. He groaned and removed it. "You have to talk to Coulson now, Tash" he said, showing her the little piece of tech. Inside his left hearing aid was his com, so he couldn't report anything for now.

She nodded and they started to search this damn guy. Natasha talked to Coulson and he found out where he was hiding now. They quickly made their way to his hideout and had to fight against at least hundred men again.

Surprisingly they weren't hurt badly. They saw their mark trying to leave and Clint took him out as soon as he spotted him.

They sighed; they were so damn exhausted and everything was sore, they had cuts, a few little burns and they were both limping slightly.

"God, Coulson get us out of here" Natasha sighed heavily.

"The jet's at checkpoint in forty-five minutes."

Natasha groaned but gave her okay and told Clint. He groaned as well and they slowly made their way back to their checkpoint.

Near the checkpoint was a little chapel and Natasha stopped.

"I hope you know that I'd never do a normal, stupid, princess wedding."

"Sure I know that" Clint chuckled and laid his arm around her shoulder, staring at the little house with her.

"And I'd keep my name, Barton" she stated coldly.

"Oh, but why?" he whined "Natasha Barton… That sounds perfect!" Natasha smiled a little and shook her head.

"We could do it now" Clint whispered into her hair, as he planted a kiss on top of her head. "I mean, you already wear this gorgeous dress, and I've got this absolutely wonderful tux" he said a little sarcastically gesturing to his torn tux. They both chuckled a little.

"Okay" Natasha said, grabbing him by his arm and pulled him into the chapel with her.

To their surprise there was a priest praying. He turned around and was shocked at the look of them, beaten and all. Natasha turned off her com. link and grabbed Clint's hand.

"Can you wed us?" Clint blurred out.

"Uh… what?" the poor priest was pretty confused and didn't speak good English.

"We want to marry. Can you wed us?" Natasha clarified.

"Sure, when do –"

"What about now?"

"But it wouldn't be legal"

"No problem" Clint said and they began.

"You saved me, you showed me I was still human, you showed me that I actually could care for someone, you showed me that I could love someone. You made me feel special and I feel safe with you. You are my best friend, Clint, you're an idiot, but I trust you with my life. I love you."

"I always wondered why I got this second chance, for what reason I should live. Then I met you, Tash. You're the reason I'm still alive, you keep me from going insane. I often tell you that I love you, but I couldn't put in words how much I love you. I trust you with everything I have and I'll do anything to keep you safe. To hear you saying you love me means a lot to me. I know how you feel, but it is still wonderful to hear you saying it. You always said love is for children, so let's just be children, Nat. I love you."

They smiled at each other, loving what they just heard.

"Do you have rings?" The priest asked and they shook their heads.

"Have you got a pen and paper?" Clint asked him. He nodded a little confused and handed it to him. Clint wrote on it and signed it, then handed it to Natasha.

 _We're married_  was written in his scrawly writing with his name underneath. Natasha smiled and signed it as well.

"You may now kiss the bride" the priest said when he understood. Clint grinned and picked her up so she was eyelevel with him. She grabbed his face and they kissed lovingly.

"I love you, Clint" she whispered and smiled widely.

"I love you too, Tash" he grinned and sat her back down on the floor before kissing her again.

"Thank you" Natasha said to the priest and he said it was his pleasure and then he left. The pair remained where they stood and just smiled at each other and kissing, until a voice interrupted them.

"Congrats"

They turned around and saw Coulson standing in the doorway of the chapel.

"Phil, listen –" Clint started but Coulson held up his hand.

"No, I meant it. Congratulations" he gave them a smile and they smiled back. "But why was I not invited?" he asked sarcastically and they all chuckled a little. "You look exhaust, let's get into the jet"

.

"So, Miss Barton, what do you wanna do in our wedding night?" Clint asked as he and Natasha swayed to imagined music.

"I'm still not changing my name" she said softly. "But I guess you know what to do" she said and tugged at the hem of his shirt. He grinned at her actions.

"Yes I do"

It was the first time they forgot their anniversary.

.

"God, this guy is such an idiot" Natasha chuckled/groaned from her place on the couch where she laid with her head in Clint's lap. They were watching TV, and right now there was an interview with Tony Stark who told the whole world that he was iron man.

"Yeah, he really needs the attention" Clint chimed in while running his fingers through Natasha's hair.

"This guy is getting himself killed within a year."

"Within a month" Clint countered and Natasha laughed softly.

.

"Romanoff, you've got a mission" Agent Hill informed Natasha, while her and Clint's sparring session. They groaned, but Natasha left to speak to Coulson.

"Hill, your fault I have no sparring partner right now, so get here. You owe me that one."

"Barton, sadly I really have to work. I'm really so, so sorry" she said in a played dramatic tone before turning around and leaving again.

Clint groaned again and started instead to shoot.

.

"So? Where do you have to go?" Clint asked as he stepped out of the bathroom, clad in boxers while rubbing a towel over his still wet hair. Natasha looked really annoyed.

"Undercover as Stark's new assistant." Okay she was really pissed.

"Oh"

"Yeah 'Oh'" she snapped and ran circles over her temples. "Sorry" she said quietly and he sat down next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"It's okay, Nat"

.

"I like these pictures, but I think I don't like the thought of Stark seeing them" Clint said, looking through Natasha's fake profile as Natalie Rushman. "Didn't find any mistakes…"

"Clint, that's not me, it's Natalie Rushman" Natasha sighed and kissed him on the cheek. He turned around in his chair and pulled her on his lap.

"I like your short hair better" he mumbled against her lips and tugging on one of her long locks.

"Me too, much better in combat than this long hair" she mumbled. "I'm gonna miss you" she whispered.

"I'm going to miss you too" he said, closing his laptop and kissing her again. "I love you"

"I love you, too"

.

" _God, this guy will blow up himself!"_

"I know Nat" Clint chuckled into the phone.

" _Did you talk to Coulson? He and Fury specially flew down here because he 'accidently lost' his suit to his best friend."_

"Yeah, we talked earlier, he said he's got a mission for me"

" _Where?"_

"New Mexico, a… satellite or something fell down… just observation of the docs." Clint said and closed his duffle bag.

" _Have fun"_  Natasha said sarcastically and Clint laughed a little. They talked for a little while longer, then Clint had to board the jet to Mexico.

.

" _Boy, it's so boring here! Here is really nothing to do!"_ Clint whined into his phone.

"Oh, poor Clint. I just had to take out a team of Hammer's guards and had to reboot Rhodey's suit, while Stark was busy fighting drones." Natasha answered from where she was lying in her bed in her little apartment in Malibu.

" _At least you had some action, I just - … I'm on my way. Nat I'm back in a minute"_  she heard him grabbing something, then she heard a door open and she heard thunder. She waited patiently, then she heard Clint again.

" _Hey, here's some intruder, I have to keep an eye on him, I'll call you tomorrow. Love you"_

"Okay, I love you too"

.

"We've got missions, Nat" Clint called into the room.

"Where?" As a response she received a groan from Clint.

"Observation. Again. These science docs working on this stupid space cube thing."

"You mean the teseract?" He gave her a look and she gave him a short kiss before grabbing the folder from his arm with her mission.

"Russia." she stated. Clint hugged her tightly and kissed her head a few times, happy her hair was short again.

"It won't take as long as our last missions. But we still have something to do, Nat" Clint grinned and picked her up, kissing her tenderly.

"I love you"

"I love you, too"


	10. The Avengers

Clint was sitting on the rafters, watching the scientists work, when Natasha sat down next to him.

"Having fun?" she asked with a grin.

"Ehm… No."

Natasha grinned wider and kissed him on the cheek.

"I have to leave soon" she said after a while.

"Yeah, I know" he answered quietly and grabbed her hand. They stayed silent until Coulson told Natasha through the com that the jet was ready to leave.

"I'm on my way" she sighed and stood. Clint stood up as well and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You're back in two days, Tash. Nothing is going to happen" he gave her an encouraging smile and a kiss. "I'll be here when you come back"

She smiled warmly up at him and kissed him tenderly, then she sighed and turned to leave.

"Love you, Nat" Clint called behind her. She turned around and smiled again.

"I love you too." And then she was gone and Clint sat down again to watch the docs and report to Coulson.

.

The next day was the same. He hadn't heard anything from Natasha, but he didn't worry too much. He sat the whole day up in the rafters, ignoring the stupid looks the scientists sent him. It really didn't happen anything, until Dr. Selvig measured strange activities from the cube. He reported it to Coulson, and after he took a look on it himself, he called Fury.

After he talked to Selvig he was speaking through Clint's earpiece and told him to report.

Clint went down the rafters and walked to the cube with Fury. Suddenly there was a blue light and then there was this man standing on the little platform.

They all backed away a bit, and Fury spoke up. The man attacked and Clint was blown away from his feet and blacked out for a minute. When he came back to his senses, the man was standing in front of him, and before he even could aim with his gun, he twisted his arm painfully and stared him in the eyes.

"You have a heart" he said and held his spear to Clint's heart. He thought he'd kill him and he thought of Natasha, and how he promised her to be here when she came back.

' _I'm sorry Tasha, I love you'_ he mumbled in his mind when he felt the tip of the scepter over his heart. Then, when he thought he would be spiked, he felt ice coldness stream through his veins and creep over the edges of his mind and everything was blue and he called a picture from Natasha during their wedding in his mind, before he lost it all and everything was numb.

He could feel himself tug away his gun.

He could feel himself walk over to this guy, heard himself say something.

He could feel himself shoot at Fury and grab the case with the cube.

He could feel himself shoot multiple times at agent Hill.

He could feel himself drive like crazy out of the collapsing building, while shooting at agent Hill.

He could see Fury shooting at his head from a helicopter and he saw this guy, Loki, shoot down the helicopter.

He could feel all that, but he couldn't do anything against it. In his inside, he was struggling to get back in control of his body, but he was captured in his own mind, he could struggle and scream as long as he wanted, but he couldn't do anything his mind wanted. All he could do was to do what this disgusting voice of his new 'master' told him in the back of his mind.

He couldn't even think of Natasha.

.

Natasha was sitting near the edge of the floor in an old, abandoned warehouse, restrained in an old wooden chair. She would be out of this in no time. But this was her plan. It was her plan to let this guy capture her, she would get the information out of him without him even knowing it.

One of his guards slapped her and the guy spoke up again. When he finished he grabbed a pliers but before he could do anything, a phone rang and after he 'threatened' whoever was on the other side of the line, he handed her the phone.

"We need you to come in" She smiled mentally to hear Coulson's voice, but she knew something must be wrong when he called her in the middle of a mission.

"I'm in the middle of an interrogation, this guy is giving me everything" The guy said something and Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, before continuing. "Look, you can't pull me out of this right now"

"Natasha" shit, now she knew it was something serious, he never called her Natasha in this voice, if it wasn't serious. She heard him sigh a bit before he continued. "Barton has been compromised"

This one sentence rang in her ears over and over again, and just for a second she let her mask drop. She quickly regained composure and pulled her black widow mask back on.

"Let me put you on hold" she said quietly and looked up at the guy. He slowly removed the phone from her ear and she kicked him, then rolled away with the chair and fought against the guards, after a few seconds she was out of the chair and after two minutes they were all knocked out.

She grabbed her shoes and the phone and walked out of the warehouse.

"Where is Barton now?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

"We don't know" she heard a sigh escape her handler's lips before she continued.

"But he's alive" That was the most important fact for now. That Clint was alive.

"I think so" That wasn't what she wanted to hear, but thousand times better than hearing he was dead. "We need you to get the big guy."

"Coulson, you know Stark only trust me as far as he can throw me" Natasha said and she had to smirk a little.

"Oh, I take Stark. And you get the big guy." She could hear the little smirk on Phil's face and then the line went dead. Natasha stopped in her tracks. She knew what that meant.

"bozhe moy" she mumbled to herself.

Suddenly she felt really bad. She felt like throwing up. She felt the same this morning, probably because she was back in Russia, the last place on earth she ever wanted to be again. And now she should go and bring the Hulk to S.H.I.E.L.D? She wouldn't admit that she was afraid of him, only to Clint she would admit that she at least had great respect for that guy. Well, but now she needed to be strong, she needed to get Clint back.

She didn't know where she was now, or how she came here, but she found herself leaning over a toilet and throwing up. She really didn't know when she walked here, but it didn't matter. Better in an unfamiliar toilet than in the middle of the street.

She felt really sick, but made her way back to the checkpoint where she knew a jet was already waiting for her to arrive.

When she stepped into the jet, she was greeted by agent Sitwell. She nodded her hello and took a place on the bench. When the jet took of, Sitwell handed her her duffle bag she brought for the mission. She, again, only nodded her thanks and when he sat back down in his seat, Natasha decided she'd need to change. Her tights were ripped at her thigh and her black dress was covered in a thin layer of dust.

"Dare to look and you're dead" she said coldly to the agent and he stared at her with wide eyes. When he finally understood what she meant he nodded quickly and turned around in his seat, his eyes glued to his computer.

Natasha removed her dress, shoes and tights and replaced them with a long skirt and shirt. When she finished she decided to try and get some sleep, so she laid down on the bench and rested her head on her bag.

She was trying hard to get some sleep, but her mind always drifted back to Clint. She hoped so hard he was fine. However, eventually she found about an hour of sleep, before she woke up again from a little sway of the jet. She was glad she hadn't had a nightmare, she didn't come along with Sitwell pretty well, she didn't want him to see her struggling and screaming.

"When do we land?" she asked him while combing through her hair with her fingers.

"Ten minutes."

Natasha nodded and waited for the jet to land, also trying to get rid of the disgusting feeling in her gut.

When they finally landed, Natasha walked to the little house she would lure Banner into. There was a second jet landing and a huge troop of S.H.I.E.L.D agents walked out. One of them handed her an earpiece, so she could tell them whether or not they'll be needed. They hid in the woods behind the house and Natasha met a little girl. She gave her some money and explained her what she'd need to do for her. The girl nodded and started to get the doctor into the house.

Natasha walked back in and wanted to hide away, when she felt a wave of nausea roll over her. She walked over to the little bathroom she spotted earlier and threw up again.

She was only nervous, she kept telling herself. She hid again and just a minute later the little girl ran through the house, into the bedroom and out of the window.

"Get you paid in advance, Banner" she heard him mumble to himself and she stepped out of the shadows.

She started her talk with him, seemingly pretty relaxed, but in her inside her heart was hammering against her chest and her stomach felt like it turned around and around and around…

"This" she said, sliding her phone over the desk "is the teseract." She started to explain him the situation and that he needed to come with her. When he hammered his hands on the table, she quickly stood with the hidden gun already aimed at his head. Her heart pounded even faster and she felt like throwing up right on the table.

She told the team to head back and she and Banner quickly headed to the jet and were flying back to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s new base… S.H.I.E.L.D's new  **flying**  base.

.

He could hear himself speak. He could hear himself tell Loki everything he knows about S.H.I.E.L.D, about everything he knew about the teseract, but the worst is, he told him everything about Natasha. He told him all he knew about her, he told her all her secrets, all her fears and he was screaming in his mind, trying so damn hard to stop himself from speaking, but he just spoke further. He wanted to kill himself, he wanted to cut out his tongue if it meant he would stop talking.

But he couldn't.

.

Natasha stepped out of the jet and let Banner run a little for himself. She saw Captain Rogers run around on the deck and she decided to talk to him.

"Brought a lot commotion, when they found you in the ice" she started and he gave her a small smile. "Coulson almost fainted. Did you have to sign his Captain America trading cards?"

"Trading cards?" he asked, looking pretty confused.

"They are really ancient. His whole pride" she smiled at the look on his face and stopped in her tracks to listen to agent Hill speaking in her earpiece. She left Rogers to introduce himself to Dr. Banner, and she told Coulson that he was needed on the Bridge. He left and when the Helicarrier started, she told the men that they should follow her inside.

Once inside she left them to their own and kneeled down beside one agent that was searching for Clint. She tapped across the screen and sighed frustrated when she didn't know what to do with all that. She stood back up and led Bruce to his lab, then she went to her and Clint's assigned quarter on the Helicarrier. She was tired. She wanted nothing more than to sleep at the moment, but when she walked past her calendar, she frowned. She double checked the date, then she forgot about the needed sleep and went to grab something from her bathroom she kept there for emergencies.

.

"Where did you get all those guys?" Dr. Selvig asked from behind the transparent curtain.

"S.H.I.E.L.D has no lack of enemies." Clint answered, not looking up from the tablet. "Is this the stuff you need?" He nodded and explained the stuff to him, but he didn't listen.

"What did it show you, agent Barton?"

"My newest target" he said coldly, turning around to his bow.

"What do you need?"

He was still fighting to get out of this blue prison, but it was hopeless.

"A distraction" Clint snatched open his bow before continuing "and an eyeball."

.

Natasha sat in the co-pilot seat of a black S.H.I.E.L.D jet, trying hard to focus. Her mind was full with the worst things she could've ever imagined. But she forced herself to be black widow, and only black widow, until Clint was back safe.

So she concentrated herself on the task at hand, trying to find him and this damn Loki guy. She concentrated on Rogers trying to knock him out, when the sound system of the jet was overwritten and she could hear Stark's voice.

"Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?" She couldn't stop the little smile to form on her lips when she heard this idiot's voice. She watched them fight and Loki giving up. They landed and brought him back to the Helicarrier, when there was lightning and thunder and suddenly there was Thor (Natasha watched the footage of Clint's mission in Mexico) and he took Loki with him. Then Stark was gone, as well as Rogers and the pilot sighed and turned around to land near them.

When they were finally back on the jet, they made it back to the Helicarrier where Loki was imprisoned, they sat at the huge conference table in the middle of the main room. Stark was walking in, talking to Coulson, then he tipped around on the screens in front of him and gave idiotic remarks, but Natasha didn't pay much attention to him. She searched for any new news from Clint on the screen in the table, but she didn't find any. She sighed frustrated and then there was the footage of Loki talking with Fury in his cell.

She was frustrated and when Fury finished his talk with them, they could finally leave. She ignored Coulson as he tried to talk to her, she just walked further and finally reached their quarter. She showered and changed into Clint's favorite shirt she gave him two years ago to his birthday. She curled herself up in the bed and was disappointed that they never were able to sleep in that bed, because now she couldn't even smell his scent, she just hugged the pillow he'd use and closed her eyes, when she felt something slip out of the pillow case. She took it and looked at the little, yellowed piece of paper with their signs on it.

Clint always laid the paper in his pillow case, so they both had it near. Normally, when he was just on a mission, it was nice to have it there, but now it just hurt, though she couldn't force herself to put it away again, so she hugged it close to her heart, buried her face in his pillow and let the tears slip.

The sun was slowly setting, when Natasha woke up from a restless night. She stood up, cleaned up and slipped into her catsuit. Then she stepped out of the room, while putting her earpiece in her ear. She walked down the long hallways until she reached the prison part of the Helicarrier.

"There are not many people that can sneak up on me" Loki stopped his pacing and turned around to look at her.

"But you figured I'd come" Natasha stated and stepped closer to the glass.

"After. After whatever torture Fury could think of, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate."

"I wanna know what you've done to agent Barton."

"I'd say I've expended his mind"

"And once you've won, once you're king of the mountain, what happens to his mind?" she stepped in front of the glass and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Is this love, agent Romanoff?" he asked with a grin.

"Love is for children, I owe him a dept."

"Tell me" he said and sat down on the bench in his cell and Natasha sat down in the chair at the railing.

"Before I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, I … well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care for who I used them for … Or on. I came on S.H.I.E.L.D's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me. He made a different call."

"And what will you do if I vowed to spare him?"

"Not let you out"

"Oh no, but I like this. Your world in the balance and you bargain for one man?" he grinned an disgusting smile and Natasha felt her stomach twist.

"Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian… Or I was"

"And what are you now?"

"It's really not that complicated." she said as she stood up again. "I've got red on my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Draykov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red and you think saving a man, no more vicious than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality, this is a child at prayer, pathetic! You lie and kill, in service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something to pay up for the horrors, but they are a part of you, and they will never go away." Natasha gulped at the mention of these missions, and she jumped a little when Loki banged his fist against the glass.

"I won't touch Barton, not until I make him kill you, slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake, just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim." Natasha turned around and sobbed- they weren't entirely faked.

"You're a monster"

"Oh no, you brought the monster." It was really hard for her to regain her composure, but she made it.

"So. Banner. That's your play" she said, looking at him and was satisfied that he looked damn confused.

"What?"

"Loki means to unleash the Hulk, keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor as well." Natasha walked down the three steps, talking into her com. When she reached the door, she turned around to Loki and gave him a sarcastic, little smile.

"Thank you. For your cooperation"

And with that she left.

She walked down the hallway and when she brushed her thumb over her cheek, she felt something wet and she was shocked she hadn't realized she'd cried. Well, not really. It was just this one tear, but it was enough to lose her mask for a moment. She stopped and leant against a wall, inhaling deeply. She tried to ignore the pictures of Clint doing … she didn't even want to think about what Loki said. She tried hard to get rid of the twisting feeling in her stomach, but it didn't quite vanish.

Natasha pushed herself off the wall and made her way to the lab.

She was directly pulled into a stupid argument. She heard the beeping of some computer, and when Banner looked so shocked, it didn't take long until the whole Helicarrier shook and the floor disappeared underneath their feet. Natasha fell down one floor and her leg was lying under a pipe. Next to her was Dr. Banner and he seemed to fight against… the Hulk. Natasha was scared. Really scared. She heard Fury talk through the earpiece and she answered that they were fine. She then tried to get her leg out from underneath the pipe while trying to get Banner to stop from hulking out. She had no success with the last one. Bruce was hulking out.

Natasha finally managed to get her leg out and she began to run. She ran up to the rafters and ran as fast as she could, trying to be faster than the Hulk. No need to say she hadn't that much of a success. He flung her to the side and she collided with the wall. She sat up slowly, to see his hand come down to her. But before it could collide with her face, Thor stormed through the wall and he and the Hulk were gone.

She sighed a shaky breath and pulled her knees up to her chest.

All her feelings came crashing down on her now, and she leant her forehead on her knees and just let the tears fall. For a while she heard the Hulk and Thor fighting, then it was quiet down here. She tried hard to calm down, at least the tears stopped and she inhaled deep, shaky breath.

Suddenly she heard Fury's voice through her com again. "It's Barton, he's on his way to the prison part… Did anybody copy?" She knew he hoped that she was going to answer, she knew he wouldn't give the order to kill his best agent until it wasn't really necessary. And he sure as hell wouldn't want to have to deal with Natasha if he'd make this call.

So she took a deep breath and started to get up while answering. "This is agent Romanoff. I copy."

She took one last deep breath, then she headed to where she knew she would find Clint. And she was right. She sneaked up on him, but he knew her too long and too well, he immediately noticed her. He pulled and arrow and shot it, and they started to fight.

They always were rough during sparring, but they always knew when to stop. Now Clint wanted to kill her. It frightened the shit out of her.

.

He heard her. It was Natasha. He wished so badly she didn't come for him. He couldn't stop his body from turning around and attacking her, he couldn't do anything. He felt himself punch her and he wanted her to finally kill him, so that it all could stop, but he knew she wouldn't do that. He tried so hard to keep against his body, to say at least something  **he** wanted to say, not anything Loki wanted him to say. But he couldn't. He only could fight against her and hope that she was going to win this time.

And then she knocked him against the railing. And he could see through the thick blue and he could form a word  **he** wanted to say. And this word was her name. He was happy, but he felt the blue coming back, and then Natasha did the best thing she could do without killing him and she knocked him out.

.

"Tasha?" he groaned and looked up at her, and it were  **his** eyes. The icy blue was gone, but as quickly as it left, she saw it come back over the edge of his eyes. And then she hit him and he was out.

She called for some medics to get him to the infirmary and then she heard Fury again.

"Agent Coulson is down." Natasha's eyes widened and she couldn't breathe for a moment.

When she could breathe again, she gulped and followed the medics to where they brought Clint. She couldn't deal with that right now. When she arrived, she told them to leave when they restrained him on the bed and they really left her.

She took a chair and sat down beside his bed, but didn't touch his hand like usual. She was afraid he wasn't himself when he woke up.

It took too long for him to wake up, almost one and a half hours. After half an hour of waiting she went into the bathroom and emptied her stomach again. She felt terrible. But she needed to be strong today.

When she came back into the room, she waited again for thirty minutes, then Clint struggled in his restrains. He grunted and shook his head multiple times. After the next thirty minutes, he slowly came back.

"Clint. You're going to be all right." Natasha said, not daring to touch him now.

"You know that? Is that what you know? I- I've got no window, I have to flush him out"

"You got to level out, it's gonna need time" she was feeling bad, she couldn't help him. She stood up and poured him some water into a glass.

"No, you don't understand me" he mumbled "Did you ever have someone take your brain and play? Pull you out… and stuff something else in? Do you know what it's like to be unmade?" Natasha was a little shocked to hear that. They both knew about each other's past, did he forget all she told him?

"You know that I do" she said, hoping he would remember. It seemed like it because he nodded a little.

He took deep breaths, but it sounded more like he was starting to hyperventilate. "Why am I back? How did you get him out?" he asked finally.

"Cognitive recalibration" she said and sat down on the bed. "I hit you really hard in the head" she clarified with a small smile when she saw his confused look.

"Thanks." She didn't say anything, but began to undo the restraints.

"Natasha… how many agents did I –"

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself, Clint." Natasha looked sternly into his eyes. She felt bad for him, and… somehow she'd need to tell him that his handler was dead as well. "This is Loki, this is … monsters and magic, and nothing we were ever trained for."

"Loki. He get away?"

"Yeah, don't suppose you know where?"

"Didn't need to know. Didn't ask. He's gonna make his play soon, though." he said, sitting up and drinking the water. "Today"

"We got to stop him"

"Yeah? Who is 'we'?"

"I don't know." she shrugged. "Whoever's left"

"Well if… I could put an arrow through Loki's eye socket, I'd sleep better, I suppose." he said with a bitter chuckle.

"Now you sound like you"

"But you don't. You're a spy, not a soldier. And now you wanna wade into war. Why? What did Loki do to you?"

"He didn't… I just…"

"Natasha" she couldn't look him in the eyes right now, if she did it would all come back down on her.

"I've been compromised. I've got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

Clint nodded as if this explained everything that was going on at the moment. He stood up and stretched his sore legs and arms, cracking his neck. He was tired.

He leant his head against the door to the bathroom and closed his eyes for a while.

"I need to tell you something" Natasha said quietly from the bed. Clint opened his eyes, but before she could say anything he turned around, pushed open the bathroom door and closed the door again. Natasha hadn't have time to worry, because she immediately heard him throwing up. She sighed, but waited patiently. When she heard he was finished she stood up, but before she could check if he was okay, the door slid open and Captain Rogers stepped in.

"We're going" he stated.

"Where?"

"I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of these jets?" She just wanted to answer something, when Clint stepped out of the bathroom.

"I can." Rogers looked from Clint to Natasha and she nodded once.

"Got a suit?" he asked Clint.

"Yeah"

"Then suit up" and with that he left.

"You're feeling better?" Natasha asked once the door was closed.

"Yeah" Clint mumbled. "What did you want to tell me?"

"It's got time till later" she said with a smile. He nodded and she threw her arms around him, burring her face in the crook of his neck. He slowly laid his arms around her shoulders and laid his head on top of her's.

"I thought I'd lost you" she whispered, but he stayed silent. "I love you Clint" she looked up into his eyes and saw a little tear roll over his face. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. After a while they pulled back and headed to their room to suit up.

They met up with Rogers at the jets and they quickly boarded one, and after Steve frightened the technician away, Clint started the jet.

Natasha navigated him and talked to Stark who was already talking to Loki. She heard him shout, but then they saw him already fighting these damn aliens that were pouring out of this portal.

"Oh shit" Natasha muttered, then she started to fire at these damn creatures, while Clint tried to dodge them. He flew around Stark Tower and they saw Thor fight with Loki.

"Nat?"

"See it"

Clint turned with the jet so Natasha could shoot at the god, but he shot at them and hit one wing of the jet. They swayed badly and Clint tried to get them on the ground without crashing, but the jet crashed against a house and Clint just tried to get them down without crashing into the floor frontally. He managed it and they jumped out of the jet and onto the streets.

Then there was this worm thing flying over their heads and they just stared at it.

They started to fight and to free kids from a bus.

"It's just like Budapest all over again!" Natasha shouted over the noise of the battle.

"You and I remember Budapest very differently" Clint chuckled a bit. He knew she would more likely be thinking of the long battle with these tons of men, but Clint always and only remembered their wedding after the fight.

They kept fighting, until there was a little break in battle. Clint and Natasha retrieved his arrows when Dr. Banner arrived with a motorcycle.

"So, this all looks … pretty bad." Bruce said a little shy.

"I've seen worse" Natasha stated.

"I'm sorry"

"No, no, we could use something worse"

They heard Stark talk to Rogers over their earpieces.

"I'll bring the party to you" they heard him say and a gigantic worm creature flew around a corner, chasing Stark in his suit.

"I, I don't see where that's a party" Natasha said and then Banner was hulking out, stopping the creature and Stark shot a bomb at it. They all dodged the flying pieces and then Captain America gave them orders for the battle. Natasha watched Clint fly away with Stark, and so did Thor, Steve and her stayed on the ground.

After a lot of a damn hard fight, Natasha decided it was enough and that the portal needs to be closed. She jumped with the help from Cap's shield onto an Alien cruiser and flew it to Stark Tower.

She talked with Clint a few sentences and then Loki was blown away from behind her and she jumped onto the roof of the Tower.

She spoke with Dr. Selvig and sneaked down the stairs to grab Loki's scepter. She stepped into the living room to see the Hulk smash Loki multiple times into the floor. She really had to chuckle at the sight.

When the Hulk left she sneaked past Loki, grabbed his scepter and brought it back to the roof.

"I can close it! Does anybody copy? I can close the portal!"

She wanted to close it, but Stark cut in, telling he had a nuke and was sending it through the portal. Natasha looked up to where Stark just vanished, she really hoped he'd make it.

"Close it" she heard Steve's voice, but she hesitated a moment. She looked up one last time, hoping for a little miracle, then she closed it.

They all watched how the blue portal closed and then, when they thought he was gone, Stark was falling down the sky. And then the Hulk was catching him. But he didn't answer. Natasha heard the roar of the Hulk through the whole city, then she could hear Stark again, and she smiled.

And then she remembered Clint, who hadn't said a word since he shot at Loki.

"Barton" …no answer. "Barton, do you copy?" still nothing. "Clint" she said more forcefully, but there was still nothing. She looked around the destroyed city and she noticed the roof he was standing on, was burning.

"No" she mumbled to herself. She couldn't lose him now. She hadn't lost him because of Loki, he couldn't be dead.

"Guys, do you see Barton?"

"Ehm… Nope. Why? Are you missing your lover boy?" Stark talked into the earpiece and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Stark, please" Natasha sighed and he actually didn't say anything stupid.

"I'm gonna see if I can find him" then she saw him flying to the house.

.

"Ey Barton! Hey, do you hear me?"

Clint was still lying on the floor in the glass shards and occasionally groaned when he moved too much. He saw Stark hovering over his face, but he didn't want to answer him. He tried to sit up and groaned when even more shards embedded themselves in his back. Stark helped him and when he was finally sitting he tried to ignore the fact that the world around him was spinning and the nausea that built inside him.

"You're okay?" Stark asked skeptically.

"Yeah" Clint mumbled and started to stand up. Stark helped him again, then told Natasha that her 'lover boy' was okay, and earned a glare from Clint.

"You should stop with these nicknames" Clint mumbled and groaned when he started to walk. His left leg hurt like hell, but he ignored it as much as he could.

"I'm going to make sure Loki isn't going to run anywhere" Stark told him and the rest of the team when they stepped out of the building. They nodded and he was flying to his Tower, Thor followed him and the Hulk ran there. That left Rogers and Clint.

"You're okay?" the captain asked him, while they walked through the streets.

"I'm fine, Cap" Clint stated bitterly.

"I'm sorry for what Loki did to you." he said after a little while. "I don't blame you for anything, I think no one in this team does"

Clint thought over it for a minute, then he shook his head. "But I do" and the rest of their walk to the Tower they stayed silent.

When they reached the floor Loki and the rest of the team was in, Natasha looked pretty relived to see Clint again.

S.H.I.E.L.D was already on its way to get them and Loki, so they only had to make sure he didn't move away.

When the jet landed and they took care of Loki, Natasha found Clint sitting on the edge of the balcony, staring at the destroyed city. She sat down beside him and laid her hand over his, but he didn't even move a finger. She sighed and tried to look him in the eyes, but he wouldn't let her.

"Clint" she said softly, trying to get his attention. He shook his head and mumbled "I'm sorry", then he stood back up and walked to the rest of the team. Natasha sighed and followed him inside.

When Stark got rid of his suit, and Banner was back, they boarded the jet and made their way to the Helicarrier. During the flight Stark tried to call Pepper Potts, but she didn't answer her phone.

When they landed, they went to the bridge and sat down on the conference table. The room was empty except of a few agents, Fury and agent Hill, but they didn't really talk to them. So Stark talked.

"So. That wasn't that bad, huh?" he asked, but no one answered him. So he sighed and talked further. "I think we work quite well together. But we don't know anything about each other, and when we come into such a situation again, we should know each other better."

It was silent in the whole room, everyone listened to him except of Clint and Natasha. Clint sat on his seat next to Bruce, his head rested in his hands and he stared at one point on the table. He breathed heavily and looked really bad. Natasha sat on the other side to him, and looked at him very closely, trying to come up with something to make him feel better.

"For example, I would really like to know what's going on between our two assassins" Stark said and looked at them with a curious face. Natasha rolled her eyes and considered to throw something at his head.

"Shut up, Stark" she said instead, she was too tired to do anything to him.

"Okay… anyways… we should know each other. And I guess, Bruce has nowhere to go here," he padded Bruce's shoulder and grinned at him, he looked really uncomfortable and wanted to say something, but Stark continued with "And I think we should help Cap with this time" earning an eye roll from him, "And when our goldilocks comes to visit, he should have somewhere to stay. So I'd suggest you all stay at my Tower. And with you I mean you two as well" he finished, pointing from Clint to Natasha. They just ignored him, though Natasha wasn't sure Clint listened at all.

Soon there was a huge discussion between the others and Natasha really had no clue how it happened, but they agreed to Stark's offer.

"Good. Now what about you? You can't say no now" Tony said with a chuckle.

"No" Natasha stated, turning her attention to him, finally.

"Why? Come on, give me one good reason! I bet Coulson would've wanted you to-" he started, but Natasha cut him off.

"Shut up!" she hissed dangerously and Stark really shut up. She looked over to Clint and his eyes widened even more and he raised his head to look at her.

"What does that mean?" he breathed out. "What does he mean he  **would**  have? What do you mean, Stark?" his voice got a little louder at the end and he turned his gaze from Natasha to Tony. She didn't want Stark to answer him; she grabbed his hand and regained his attention. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look into his eyes.

"He's dead, Clint. Loki killed him" her voice was soft and everyone around them was quiet and waited for Clint to react.

"What?" it took him long to react and his voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry Clint"

He rested his head back on his hand and stared on the table again. He breathed so heavily, it almost sounded like he was hyperventilating.

"I killed him"

"No, you didn't. It was Loki. Phil tried to stop him, Clint. It wasn't you. You didn't do anything of all that happened. It was all Loki, not you" she tried hard to calm him down, to convince him, but it didn't work. It really didn't work. He slammed his hand on the table, causing Natasha to pull her hand back and he stood up.

"It was all me! I killed these agents, I brought these guys up here, I told Loki  **everything**! Everything about S.H.I.E.L.D, everything about you!" he yelled at her, but the next thing he whispered.  
"I tried to kill you. I tried to kill you, Nat. It was my fault. It was all my damn fault. I wasn't strong enough. He just should have killed me.  _You_  just should have killed me, Tash"

Natasha was standing in front of him now, and looked up at him with sad eyes.

"Stop saying that" she whispered, but he yelled again.

"God, why not? Why shouldn't I just kill me? Give me one good damn reason, just one why I shouldn't stop this shit right now." Okay, now really everyone was quiet. Stark's eyes darted between the two assassins while drinking a bit of his coffee, everyone else's eyes were wide in shock.

Natasha took a deep breath and ignored everyone's eyes on them before she whispered her answer.

"'Cause I'm pregnant."

The only thing she heard for a moment was her heart beating in her ears and Stark spitting his coffee all over the table. Natasha couldn't believe that she just said something like  **that** in front of whole S.H.I.E.L.D and Tony Stark, the biggest idiot in the world.

"What?" Clint finally managed to whisper. Natasha ignored the looks from everyone around and just continued, if it meant Clint would get better.

"You're gonna be a Dad, Clint"

"But how? I thought- " he didn't finish his thought, he was so damn shocked.

"I don't know" Natasha whispered with a little smile. They both thought the people in the red room took that from her, took her the ability to get a family.

"You're sure?"

"Clint, I can't keep anything in me longer than an hour, I smell disgusting things no one should smell, at the same time I want to eat the strangest things, and I made a test yesterday. I'm pretty sure."

Clint smiled a little and hugged her. He buried his face in her shoulder and let out a shaky breath.

"Is this a good enough reason?" Natasha asked quietly and she felt Clint nod his head on her shoulder.

"The best" he mumbled and then pulled back and kissed her. Normally Natasha would be upset, she didn't want to show everybody what was going on between the two of them, though there were multiple rumors running around base of the two of them being a couple. But right now she was happy to have Clint back, though she knew he would fight dealing with the happenings.

When she made the test yesterday, and she saw the two little lines, she thought her world would collapse. When she laid in bed later that day, she thought about how Clint once told her that he always wanted to have a family and they both knew she would never be able to give one to him and so she never thought about having a child.  
But now, with the positive test, she thought about it all. She couldn't abort it, she already had too much red on her ledger, she couldn't take away an unborn the chance of a live. Adoption was an option, but she couldn't think of having this child nine months inside of her and then give it away to some strangers. So there was only option three, raising the child with Clint. She knew he would be okay with that, more than okay. But was she capable of raising a child? She never had a childhood, never had a mother she could really remember, how could she take care of that child then? But she thought of Clint, and she knew that with him she could make it. They could do that together.

They sat back down on the table and were greeted by the shocked and curious looks from the Avengers and Agents.

"Ten bucks, Bruce" Stark spoke up after a while, holding his hand out to the doctor. He sighed and pulled a ten dollar bill out of his pocket.

"You bet on us?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow. Stark held up a finger to contradict.

"We bet on you being … let's say… very close to each other." Poor Steve turned bright red. "Not on you … being pregnant. But… well, I think that means I was right" he ended with a wide grin. Natasha rolled her eyes at him, but didn't comment anything.

"So uhm… you two are uh…" Steve stammered around and Natasha gave him a little smile.

"Married?" Clint asked and he nodded. "Yeah, four years" he even smiled. He was better for the moment.

Steve gave them a smile and they stayed silent for a while, until Bruce spoke up.

"Congratulations" They all looked up at him and it took a while for Natasha to understand what he meant, then she shook her head with a smile, mumbling a 'Thanks'. After a moment the rest understood as well and they all congratulated them.

"Congratulations, Agents" their smiles quickly vanished when they heard director Fury talk between them. They've forgotten that he was in the same room… This could be interesting.

"Listen sir, we –" Clint started but was cut off from him.

"You get down in thirty minutes again, making sure Loki and you, Thor, get away. The jet's waiting and there'll be cars ready for you. Clean up and vanish. You get a month of vacation, but I want you two in my office next week. Good job." And with that he and Hill left, and the other agents started to work again.

"Let's get ready then" Rogers said and they all nodded and got up and changed.

Once in their quarter, Clint immediately held Natasha close to him again and kissed her.  
"I love you, Tasha" he mumbled against her lips and she returned it. But then she shoved him to the bed and went to grab the medical kit. She heard him groan but she didn't care.

"Out of the vest" she said and he obeyed. She sat down behind him and hissed at the sight in front of her. His whole back was peppered with glass shards, some smaller, some bigger than other. She grabbed some tweezers and started to take them out. Occasionally he hissed a little, but otherwise he stayed silent.

"We'll make it, Clint. You'll see" she whispered into his ear when she was finished. He nodded and she saw him smile a little.

"God, you're pregnant" he chuckled a little. "We'll be parents, Tash" He's turned around and sat her down on his lap, ignoring the pain in his leg and kissed her.

"Get a shower, Barton" she said after pulling away. He grinned, picked her up and walked into the bathroom with her.

They met again in the jet and Stark immediately began to annoy them again.

"Okay, so, to come back to the topic, when are you all moving in?" God, does this guy never got tired? He just came back from a gigantic fight with Aliens where he almost died, and he just couldn't stop talking.

"Uhm… what about never?" Natasha asked sweetly and Tony glared at her.

"Okay, anyways, Bruce has nowhere to go" the scientist wanted to speak, but Tony was faster "Cap?" Natasha and Clint started to ignore them, they only heard that Steve wanted to go to his own apartment before. He was okay with the idea of knowing each other better, though he was hesitating.

"So my dearest assassins? What about you?"

"God Stark, just let it be" Clint groaned, drawing circles over his temples.

"Why?" he chuckled and Clint glared at him. "Oh come on, Legolas, why not? Do you really wanna raise your child its whole life in a S.H.I.E.L.D. Base, surrounded by some creepy agents, monsters, and a really scarifying boss with an eye patch? God this child would be really disturbed"

"Stark, just shut up" Clint sighed.

"No, because you know that I'm right. I can't imagine that you two could quit your job just like that, and who'll watch it when you're on a mission? Fury? Okay, at S.H.I.E.L.D it would probably be relatively safe, but, come on, where could it be safer than with the Avengers? Come on, you know I'm right, just say it. Everyone can get his own apartment, it wouldn't be as creepy as in a S.H.I.E.L.D base."

Clint and Natasha sighed and were happy that the jet landed right now and they took their cars and drove of to the checkpoint where agents were waiting with Loki and Dr. Selvig.

When they arrived they all said goodbye to Thor and stood in a circle around them. Clint felt a shiver run over his spine as Loki looked him straight in the eyes and he found himself unable to look away. Natasha noticed how uncomfortable he looked and she leant in to whisper him into the ear.

"I feel like throwing up in his damn muzzle" she said and saw him grin. For him it meant that the baby was okay, even after that fight.

And then they were gone.

Clint could hear Natasha sigh audible and he laid an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

"So? Where are you going now? I don't think Fury wants to see you right now" Tony started again.

"You know Stark, even we have an apartment" Natasha spoke to him like he was a little child and he rolled his eyes.

"Uhm, actually, no" Clint mumbled and Natasha turned to look at him, just like the others did. "Well, one of these worm…creatures… flew straight through our floor."

Natasha groaned and banged her head against his shoulder. "You sure?" she asked, though she really knew he was right. And she felt him nod and she groaned again, but was ready to kill when she heard Stark laugh loudly behind her. She spun around and glared at him like she wanted to rip his head off.

"Okay… okay now you just  **have** to come with us" he laughed, but backed away when he saw Natasha's face.

"Stark, wh-" she didn't came further, because this time Bruce interrupted her.

"God, just get into this damn car and stop discussing." he groaned with a little chuckle. "I'm tired and I don't think anyone of you feels different. So let's just get some sleep." He gave them a tired smile and they all nodded and headed to their cars.

They sat down in their black S.H.I.E.L.D. car, but Clint didn't start the engine right away. He removed his sunglasses and rubbed his tired eyes, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Natasha was pulling something out of her pocket. She handed him the paper and he smiled immediately.

"Couldn't just leave it behind" she said with a smirk. "It's your job to keep it save" She heard him chuckle and he put it away again, then started the engine and followed Tony's car.

"Jarvis, where's Pepper?" Stark asked from where they were all standing in the elevator.

"Ms. Potts is currently in the main living area." the a.i. replied just in the moment as the doors slid open and they could see a red eyed Pepper Potts starring at them. Then she walked towards Tony, who just stepped out of the elevator and towards her, and slapped him hard in the face. Before he could say something, she laid in his arms and cried a little.

"Jarvis will tell you where to go. See you tomorrow" Tony said to the rest of them, then walked into his and Pepper's bedroom to calm her down.

Jarvis told the remaining team where to go and they all left; they just wanted to sleep.

"We should go to a doctor soon, just to make sure it's still okay after that fight" Clint said, as the door to their room closed.

"Clint, please, can we talk about that tomorrow? I'm really tired and I bet you are as well"

"Yeah, I just- I don't know" he gave her a shy smile and she grabbed his head and pulled him down to her to kiss him.

"Let's get some sleep" He nodded and they laid down in the huge bed and Natasha laid as close to Clint as she could.

"I love you Tasha"

"I love you too" she whispered and started to drift off.


	11. There it is

It was around one pm when they all gathered around in the main room again. Pepper and Tony were the last ones to arrive and when she saw the rest of the team, Pepper blushed.

"God, I'm really sorry for this show yesterday" she chuckled nervously, but after a deep breath she regained her composure. "Please call me Pepper" she gave them a warm smile and they all smiled back and everybody introduced himself to her.

After a while Pepper walked into the kitchen to make some sandwiches for everybody and Natasha followed her to help her.

"So it's Natasha, not Natalie" Pepper chuckled, trying to start conversation.

"Yeah" Natasha gave her a small smile, but nothing else.

"Congratulations, by the way." She heard Natasha sigh before she spoke up.

"Stark can keep nothing for himself, can he?"

"Natasha, I think I would have noticed it anyways" Pepper answered and they both chuckled a little. "I like the idea that you all stay here" she said after a while. "It'll be nice to have you all around. And I bet this baby will be spoiled to no end" At this Natasha had to laugh a little.

"I just hope it's still okay after yesterday" she said quietly after a while, absentmindedly running a hand over her still flat stomach. "Clint needs this" she added and she mentally slapped herself for saying something like that in front of someone she barely knew. Well, she even told a bunch of strangers that she was pregnant… she told herself it was because of the hormones.

"You both need this" Pepper answered with a smile that Natasha returned. She decided that she liked Pepper.

.

"I still think I should drive" Natasha said from the passenger seat of their car.  
It was a few days after the attack, New York was slowly building up again, and now the two of them were finally driving out of the city to get to a doctor.  
Clint drummed his fingers nervously on the steering wheel while driving. She saw him shake his head and she sighed. She knew he was fighting about all that happened, that he was fighting about Phil's death. So was she, but now he worried about becoming a father or not as well.

When they finally arrived, they had to wait a long time until it was their turn.

"Brought a lot of chaos this guy" the doctor said, trying to start conversation.

"Yeah" Clint mumbled annoyed. The doctor noticed it wasn't a good topic to talk about, so she let it drop and started to talk to them, then made her tests with Natasha. When they finished, they had to wait a bit for the results, until the doctor came back into the room.

"So, I've got good news" she said with a smile and Clint sighed already "you are indeed pregnant, Miss. Congratulations"

Natasha smiled when she saw the relieved look on Clint's face. She didn't really know what to think at the moment, but she was glad he was feeling better.

They made an appointment for the first ultrasound and after a while of talking about what happens next, they left and drove back to the Tower.

When they arrived, they went to the main room, which was fully repaired by now. They stepped out of the elevator to see everybody except of Thor, who was still in Asgard, staring at them.

"So? Should we still plan a nursery for your apartment?" Like expected, Stark was the first one to talk. Natasha sighed annoyed, but when she nodded she had a little smile on her face.

Pepper squealed a little, stood up and before Natasha knew it, hugged her. She almost wanted to kick her away, but she stopped herself in time.

"Congrats" Pepper said, then pulled away and hugged Clint as well. The rest of the team didn't hug them, but congratulated them as well.

"Okay, so you'll get a nursery" Tony muttered, tipping around on his tablet. "Any wishes?" he asked with a wide, sarcastic grin.

"Maybe that you just shut up?" Natasha answered again like she spoke with a little child.

Everyone chuckled and Stark glared at them all.

"Ey, you want me to do all this, or do you want to do it all alone?" he asked annoyed and gestured over the plans of all their apartments.

"Don't be like that, Tony" Pepper said softly and kissed him on the cheek. He grumbled but turned his head to kiss her back.

.

Clint woke up to the sound of Natasha running into the bathroom again. She had a really bad morning sickness, was always really tired, but couldn't sleep well because of the morning sickness. Clint groaned, then sat up and waited for her to come back out.  
Today they had to talk with Fury about that all. This was going to be funny.

"Better?" he asked softly when she came back into the room. As an answer she glared at him and threw a shirt at his head.

"Shut up, Barton" she groaned and slumped back into the bed next to him. She curled up against his side and he ran a hand through her hair.

"The doc said it will get better, Tash" he mumbled into her hair, trying to comfort her, but she slapped him on the chest slightly.

"You don't have to do this all day. You can sleep, you can eat what you want. You don't smell these disgusting things, you don't want to eat everything you see at once and you're not going to be fat like you ate a damn ball" she whined into his shoulder. "And you don't have all those damn hormones that cause you to feel like you have to cry every minute."  
Clint had to chuckle at her arguments, what earned him another slap, but he kissed her head a few times and she seemed to feel better a little and so they stayed silent for a while.

"We have to get up, Nat" he mumbled carefully and she slapped him again.

"No" she groaned and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"We have to" he spoke softly and helped her sit up.

"No, it's your fault. It's your entire fault, so you can go alone." she mumbled stubbornly.

"I think you're involved in this all, too" he chuckled and sat up again. She struggled, but eventually they got up and got ready.

They made their way back to base as slowly as possible, but when they arrived, they were greeted by strange looks. Some were meant for both of them; it's strange that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best agents and assassins got a kid together. But most of the looks were meant for Clint. It was just a week since the incident with Loki, and almost everybody at S.H.I.E.L.D knew about what Clint has done. Barely anyone understood what exactly happened, they all only saw the facts - that Clint killed agents and still ran around.

Clint ignored them all; Natasha sent them deadly looks that caused them all to turn back around.

When they reached Fury's office, they were immediately sent in by agent Hill.

"Sit down, agents" he growled, not looking up from his papers. They sat down in the two chairs and waited for him to speak up. When he finally looked up from his papers, he looked at them and sighed.

"So? Any suggestions to handle this all?" he asked with a dead calm voice. "Just that you know, I won't send you on any missions, Romanoff."  
"Yes" she answered with a nod. "We thought about me working as a handler, for the time of the pregnancy."

Fury agreed with a short nod, then turned his gaze towards Clint.

"Well, I thought about going back on missions." he answered a little unsure. Fury eyed him carefully before speaking up again.

"You think you're capable of returning into field?" Clint clenched his jaw and thought about it for a moment.

"Yes sir, I am." Director Fury looked at him for a moment, then he nodded his head slowly.

"Okay. You still have the rest of the month vacation, then Romanoff will be your handler, Barton, until the baby's born. Then we'll speak further. You're dismissed."  
They nodded and stood up again, making their way to the door. When they were about to step out, Fury spoke up again.

"Don't mess this kid up, too much"  
They could hear the hint of a smile and they smirked a little, then they left.

"That was… better than expected" Natasha said as they walked through the hallways. Clint gave her a nod, but stared ahead, ignoring again the stupid looks.

Natasha was too tired to try to talk to him, so she let him. She knew he wouldn't tell her anyways. When they reached their car, she didn't even discuss that she would drive, she just let him drive. Once inside their black car, she leant her head against the window and closed her eyes. She felt sick again, so she curled up in her seat and tried to ignore the feeling in her gut.

"Are you okay?" she heard Clint's concerned voice, just as she began to fall asleep. She sighed and stretched a little, before answering.

"Yeah, just tired"  
Clint nodded his head and grabbed her hand.

"We're almost there, Tash. Then you can lie down again" he said with a smile.  
She nodded and laid her head back against the window, keeping her hold on his hand.

"I love you, Nat" he whispered and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

.

Around a week later, the whole team was called back to base. It was Coulson's funeral. They were all there, even Pepper. Well, Thor was still in Asgard, but they were all sure he was with them as a thunder growled loudly. Clint again ignored every stupid look and comments like it was his fault he was dead. Natasha glared at them all like she would kill them every moment and most of them even stopped and looked away.  
Then there were a few who wondered about why the two agents didn't say anything on their handler's funeral. The answer was that they just couldn't. It was too hard for any of the avengers to say something, so they let it and they all ignored the stupid looks they now sent to the rest of the team as well.  
When they were about to leave, agent Hill handed Clint and Natasha two envelopes. They nodded and left after that; they both knew what was inside. They both had written such a letter for the other years ago… In case one of them dies.  
When they were back in the Tower, they all left to do whatever. Clint and Natasha sat quietly on the roof, not daring to look into the envelopes.  
After an hour or so, Natasha finally opened the letter.

_ Natasha, I think I don't have to tell you, that when you read this, I'm dead. It's okay, we all knew this would come. But I want to tell you, that I'm proud of you. I'm grateful for Barton making a different call. It was probably his best decision ever, you're a good person, Natasha, don't let anyone tell you different. I know it was hard for you, but you're not alone anymore. Let someone in your life, let someone help you. Clint will be there for you, I know it. He'll do anything to keep you safe and you know that, too. _ _   
_I know you'll never be able to quit this life, but I know you two can do something more, you two could also have a normal life. Well, I know it will never be quite normal, but I know out of all people, **you** could make this._   
_I'm proud of you both, just keep safe and don't think about the past. Your future is the only thing to think about._   
_Stay safe,_ _

_ Phil. _

Natasha noticed a little tear in the corner of her eye, but she refused to let it fall. Damn hormones. When she looked to Clint, she saw him open his envelope with slightly shaking hands.

_ Barton, stop it. I know you know what that letter means, and I know that, no matter how I died, you'll find a way to blame yourself for that. So stop. I can tell you, it's not your fault. So please just get over it and keep fighting. Keep fighting against the idiots on base, keep fighting against every enemy, just keep going. _ _   
_I'm proud of you, and I'm very happy for what you have with Natasha. It was really the best decision you could've made, she is a top agent like you said._   
_You always asked me why I brought you in, why we gave you this second chance._   
_Because you deserve a normal life. I know it will never be normal, you will never be able to get out of this life, but you and Natasha are able to manage that. I know you two could combine both lives. You just have to dare._ _

_ But no matter what you are going to do, stay with her, help her, but let her help you, as well. I know there'll be though times coming, but you can get through that. I trust you and I'm proud of both of you. _ _   
_So Barton, just stay alive and live._ _

_ Phil. _

When Clint finished, he had a little smile on his lips. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Natasha smile and she took his hand in hers. When he looked at her still flat stomach he couldn't believe he was going to be a Dad.  
Natasha noticed his gaze on her belly and she smiled.  
"I love you" she said and he leant over to kiss her.

.

A few weeks later, the whole Tower was finished. Everyone's apartment was finished, Bruce got an own lab, Tony got a room for all his suits, he and Bruce had a lab they used together as well and one floor was a gigantic training room, with a shooting range, sparing mats, training dummies… it was great. Natasha and Clint's month of vacation was already over, but there weren't any missions for them.

When Natasha awoke, this time without the need to throw up, she was alone in their new bed. She sighed, then got up and changed into a leggings and a shirt. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she sighed frustrated. She was only in the end of the third month, but you could slowly see her belly grow, well, if you know how flat her stomach usually was.

She sighed again, then she started to search Clint. She knew he wouldn't be in their apartment, so he would either be shooting or sitting on the roof.

Natasha made her way to the elevator and decided to check the roof first. She was right, she found him sitting on the edge, staring at the city below.  
The worst things were already repaired, just a few more things and everything looked like this all never happened. But it did. And no one could really forget it all.

She made her way over to him and sat beside him, grabbing his hand. They stayed silent for a while, but eventually they went down to the main room.

Everyone was sitting on the couches, watching the replay of a football match.  
Clint and Natasha decided to sit down with them for a while, but no one could really pay attention to the game, because Tony always yelled either at the tv or at Jarvis, why ever.

After an hour or so, they left and went down to their car. Today was Natasha's first ultrasound and Clint was more nervous than Natasha.  
When they arrived, they were quickly sent into the doctor's room.

The doctor only asked a few questions before she started with the ultrasound and Clint grabbed Natasha's hand.  
"… and here is your baby" she said finally and they both looked up at the monitor. They could hear the heartbeat of their child, and they could see it. They both couldn't look away and just smiled.  
The doctor wrote something down, then she left for a moment.

"This is our baby, Tash" Clint whispered and Natasha grabbed his hand tighter. She couldn't look away from the monitor. It was their child, there was a life growing inside her and before she knew it, there was a little tear rolling over her cheek.  
Clint noticed and wiped it away, then he leant down to kiss her.

"We're gonna be parents, Nat"


	12. A little butterfly

When Natasha awoke, around three am, she was alone in the bed. She sighed and stood up, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. She stepped out of their room and already wanted to step into the elevator to check the roof, when she saw light under the door of the new nursery.

It was still empty, the walls weren't painted as well. They were still arguing about how to make it.  
Natasha sighed once again, then opened the door slowly and stepped in.

Clint sat on the huge window sill and stared out of the gigantic window.

The whole wall was just one window, with a huge window sill, you could even lie on. Natasha loved the room, and so did Clint. From here you had a wonderful view over the whole city, so it was no wonder she found him here.

Natasha closed the door again and turned off the lights so they could look out of the window better. She sat down on the opposite side of him and they both looked out on the city for a while.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked finally, knowing he had a nightmare.  
Clint shook his head, but gave her a little smile.

"It's okay" he spoke softly and leant closer to her, giving her a short kiss. Then he leant down and placed a little kiss on her slightly swollen stomach, and she smiled.

"I love you two" Clint said with a chuckle and Natasha rolled her eyes, but kissed him again.

"I guess we should know the gender, so we can get this all ready" Clint said after they stared at the empty room for a while. Natasha had her head laid down on his shoulder and she nodded.  
"Guess you're right" she answered with a yawn.

He chuckled, then he picked her up and carried her back into their bedroom.

.

"Clint! Get your ass in here, right now!"

Clint gulped when he heard Natasha scream through their apartment. He didn't have a clue what he did wrong this time, he only wanted to make her some tea, even though he was disgusted only by the smell of that stuff.

He took a deep breath and when he walked back into their bedroom he almost couldn't dodge the jeans that flew at his head.

"Nat, what's wrong?" he asked confused and had to dodge another jeans.

"I'm too fat for this all!" she exclaimed and slumped down on the bed with a frustrated sigh. Clint was hard trying to hide his laughter, but he sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her and she laid her head down on his shoulder.

"This was to be expected, don't you think?" he said softly, but she punched him hard on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry" he chuckled and kissed her head, then he got up and started to gather her clothes from the floor. "I bet here is something that will fit you"

"No! I tried every damn trouser I have. Nothing fits anymore."

"Well, I guess then it's time to get maternity wear" he said when he brought a good distance between Natasha and himself. He's just careful; you never know with a pregnant spy/assassin.

Once the words were out of his mouth, Natasha's head snapped in his direction and she had a mischievous smile on her face.

Clint backed away with his hands stretched out in front of him and he shook his head violently.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. No. I'm not going to shop with you. No. No, Tasha, no" Natasha stood up and approached him, her hands on her hips.

"Oh yes, you do." She spoke calmly and when Natasha Romanoff speaks with you this way – run. But Clint couldn't run.

"No" was all he could do, but that caused a grin to spread across her face and Clint ran a shiver down his spine.

.

" **How** the hell did I end up here?!"

This wasn't Clint who banged his head against a wall in the middle of a store for maternity wear. Nope, it was Tony.

"Stark, for god's sake, just shut up!" Clint groaned from where he sat on a couch, rubbing circles on his temples.

"She's  **your**  wife, not mine! Why the hell had I to come with you!?" Tony continued to whine and bang his head against the wall.

"Don't ask me! Ask your… god whatever Pepper is for you." Stark finally turned around and glared at Clint. He held his gaze, so Tony sighed and sat down on the couch as well.

"God, how long can it take for two women to buy some stupid clothes?"

"How should I know!?" Clint snapped and continued to run circles on his temples.

"Okaaay" Tony said slowly, scooping away from the archer a bit.

"Sorry" Clint muttered under his breath. Tony nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, then leant back and closed his eyes.

After what felt like ten years, someone nudged them.

"Are you done with your nap? 'Cause we wouldn't mind if we could go now." The words barely left Pepper's mouth when the two men jumped up from the couch and grabbed the bags that stood at their feet, practically running out of the store.

.

"Ey Rogers! Need a sparring partner?" Clint called out as he entered the huge training room. Steve was alone in the huge room, punching rapidly on the punching bag that was hanging from the ceiling. When he heard Clint's voice, he turned around and gave him a little smile.

"Sure, why not" he answered with a shrug and Clint cracked his fingers, then started.

It was different than sparring with Natasha, Steve was more cautious, but he quickly fought with his full strength after Clint sent him down on the mat for the fifth time. They sparred for a long time, until they were both really out of breath.

In the evening they were all gathered around in the main area, watching a box fight.

"God, come on, I'd already have him knocked out within the first ten seconds" Clint said for the fourth time.

"Yeah, and I can't" Natasha whined and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I thought you could still kill me?" Stark asked with a smug grin.

"I never said I couldn't kill anymore" she said coldly and the rest chuckled a little.

They stayed silent for a while, nothing more to hear than a few shouts at the TV from Tony and Clint.

"I'm gonna get some sleep" Pepper spoke up then with a yawn. "I have to get out early tomorrow. Because I have to take care of your enterprise." She padded Tony on the shoulder and he gave her a quick kiss.

"Thanks for that" he mumbled, then turned his attention back to the fight on screen. Pepper shook her head, then left, waving a goodbye to the team.

They continued to watch the fight and scream at the TV and (mostly Clint and Tony) yell at each other. Eventually Clint found Natasha sleeping with her head on his shoulder and he decided to take her down into bed, so he picked her up, said his goodnight to the rest and left without another word.

.

"I'm here! I'm here, I'm here, I'm here" Natasha heard Clint before she saw him run into their bedroom while trying to get out of his boots.  
He just came back from his first little mission after the whole Loki incident, and he was late for their second ultrasound, so Natasha was obviously pissed.

"Good, I already wanted to go alone" she said from the doorway where she stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'm sorry, Tash" he said and changed into fresh clothes. Natasha still glared at him; she wasn't really angry, but still a little pissed. Well, but still she was glad he was okay. She was worried that he wasn't ready for going back into field again, but obviously he seemed to be okay.

"Come on, I'm really sorry" He laid his hands down on her shoulders and looked her deep in the eyes, and she just had to smile.

She stood up on her toes and placed a kiss on his lips, but quickly pulled away when she reminded herself of where they had to go. So they went down into the garage, jumped into their car and headed to the doctor.

"So, we … let her tell us the gender then?" Clint asked from the driver seat. Natasha noticed his fingers drumming on the wheel again; he always did something like that when he was nervous. She heaved a sigh and answered "Clint, I thought we talked about that? I think it's good to know it, but if you don't want to, we could still let her surprise us…" Clint chuckled and shook his head with a smile.

"No, no, better no more surprises." Natasha chuckled a little and they stayed silent until they arrived.

Once there, they quickly were inside of the examination room and greeted the doc.

"So? You wanna let me tell you the gender today?" she asked with a smile.

They both nodded their yes and she quickly began to check on Natasha and start the ultrasound. All the time Clint held her hand tightly in his and ran his thump over the back of her hand. Their eyes were glued to the monitor again, until the doc spoke up, finally.

"Okay, good, it all looks perfect. And… it looks like you're getting… a daughter" she said with a wide smile, showing them both the picture of their baby on the screen.

Natasha's breath stocked and she felt tears rise in her eyes.  
All the years she thought this was never going to happen to her, she thought the people in the red room took this from her, but it slowly settled in that there was a life inside of her, the fact that she now knew the gender made it all even more believable for her. She was slowly starting to get used to the thought that she was going to be a mother. She was still scared like hell, she was sure that she was going to be a terrible mother, but at the same time, she knew that she was able to do this all as long as Clint was with her.  
She gripped his hand a little tighter and found herself smile softly, but she still couldn't remove her eyes from the picture of their baby.

Clint couldn't really believe what he just heard. He stopped the movements of his thump and just concentrated on the baby and what the doc just told them. They were getting a daughter. A little baby girl. He couldn't believe it. All the time he couldn't really comprehend the fact that Natasha was pregnant, not even when he saw the little life for the first time. But now… knowing what they were going to face… a little girl. He was going to be a Dad. It still felt so unreal, he still was scared this all was just a picture in his mind, that he was still under Loki's spell and that he'd wake and it was all gone. But a little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that Loki was gone, that he was himself again, that he was alright, that Natasha was with him and that's everything that really mattered to him. And it kept telling him that this baby was real. And he decided to believe this little voice, because it made him feel so much better after all that happened.

After what felt like an eternity, Clint found himself able to let his gaze wander to Natasha. She was smiling softly, a smile she let only Clint see on her.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the doc leave for a moment and he took the chance to place a kiss on her lips. When they pulled apart he noticed a little tear in the corner of her eye and brushed it away.

"A girl, Tash. We get a little daughter" Clint whispered and all she could do was to nod and squeeze his hand a little.

A moment later the doc was back with a paper in her hand. She handed it to Clint and he smiled again; she printed them a photo of their little daughter.

They talked a little while about what's happening next and all that stuff and then they left happily.

Back in their car, Clint couldn't help but smile the whole drive. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Natasha was looking at the picture the whole time with a little smile on her lips.

.

"Hey, you wanna have a cup?"  
They were greeted by Bruce, when they stepped out of the elevator and into the communal kitchen. Natasha nodded with a smile at his offer of a cup of tea, Clint grimaced his face with a disgusted look.

"God, please no!" Natasha rolled her eyes at his behavior and Bruce chuckled while handing Natasha the cup.

"Okay, then a coffee?" he asked and already knew the answer, so he turned to the coffee machine and let it make a cup of coffee for Clint. When they all were equipped with a cup of whatever, they sat down at the huge table.

"So, what did the doc tell you?" Bruce asked after a while. It was obvious that he was curious, but he wouldn't push any of them to tell him something when they didn't want to.

"Everything's good" Clint shrugged and sipped on his coffee before continuing with a grin. "and she told us the gender" Natasha rolled her eyes, but there was still this little smile on her face. Bruce raised an eyebrow in a silent question, before saying it aloud.

"Really? Uhm… You plan on telling the team?" he asked cautiously.

Natasha turned to look at Clint, which ended in the both of them having one of their silent communications again. Bruce looked between the two of them, occasionally sipping from his tea. After a minute or so, Natasha turned her gaze away again and pulled the photo out of her bag. She looked at it for a little moment in thought, looking once again up to Clint who nodded and she passed the photo to Bruce with a smile.

"You can tell them" she chuckled and waited for him to move. He cautiously turned the paper so he could look at the photo on the other side. He studied it for a moment, then there was a little smile on his face as well.

"A girl?" he asked, just to make sure, and they nodded. "Congratulation" he said again, and after looking at the little baby for a moment longer, he passed the photo back to Natasha.

"A girl? What, did our Hulkie find a certain someone?" Tony wiggled his brows as he entered the kitchen. He was covered in dust and oil and looked like he could sleep for days.

"Stark, what the hell do you do all day down there?" Clint asked.

"Oh, you know this and some other things…"he answered and wiped his forehead on a towel. "But back to topic." he started again and laid his elbows on the table in front of Bruce, resting his head in his hands. "Did you find someone for your little Hulk?"

Everyone at the table rolled his eyes and Natasha resisted the urge to throw something at his head.

"No, we talked about the ultrasound" she said before Tony could say something again. He straightened up again and looked at her for a while before his brain connected everything together and came to the answer.

"You're getting a daughter!" he exclaimed finally and Natasha rolled her eyes again and got up to grab another cup of tea.

"That was fast, Sherlock" she said sarcastically and leant against the counter.

"Jarvis, get the others up here, now" Tony demanded, ignoring Natasha's comment. She didn't even bother to say anything, so she just sat down next to Clint and ran a hand over her swollen belly. Within a few minutes everyone was in the kitchen; when the last one, which was Steve, arrived, Tony blurted it out immediately.

"Guys" he started and clapped his dirty hands together. "here'll soon be a little girl running around, kicking our asses when she comes after her mom" Natasha and Clint rolled their eyes as the message settled in and they all started to congratulate them or whatever… they didn't really pay attention to what they were saying.

It all died down after a while and they all sat on the table talking when a loud thunder was heard above the tower and they all turned around to look out of the window. They all turned around again when they saw it started to rain and continued with their conversation until there was a knock on the balcony door.

Natasha already wanted to pull out a gun when she registered she hadn't a gun with her. But it wasn't necessary anyways.

On the balcony, standing in the rain, was Thor. Pepper was the first one to react and she walked over to the glass door, ordering Jarvis to open it while she walked. The others reacted soon after her and made their way over to where Pepper was already introducing herself to Thor.

"Ey Goldilocks, you finally found back down here" Tony exclaimed and slapped Thor on the back. The others all greeted him as well and they found themselves sitting on the huge table in the kitchen, eating Pizza Tony ordered. He was, thanks to Pepper threatening him, clean now and the others finally allowed him to sit down with them.  
Thor ate like he hadn't eat in month, but no one wondered. He was a god after all.

They sat all around the table, everyone listened to what Thor had to say, what happened in Asgard, why he only came back now… At the mention of Loki, everyone noticed Clint stiffen and he stared down on his food, suddenly all his hunger gone. They knew better than to try to talk to him about that and Thor assured them that Loki was securely imprisoned in Asgard before changing the topic, seeing how his teammates didn't want to talk about it.

He asked how Natasha was feeling and before she even got the chance to answer, Tony exclaimed excitedly that she's going to have a girl and bla bla bla. Natasha rolled her eyes and didn't bother to say anything at all.

They kept talking and talking, Clint and Natasha stayed silent most of the time, just observing.

Thor told them that he visited 'Lady Jane Foster' and that started a huge discuss (mostly between only Tony and Thor) about who she was, what was going on between the two of them and (this was only Tony's idea) that he should bring her over.

At this point Natasha decided it was a good time to stop listening to them and go to bed. It was already one thirty am and she was tired. She noticed that Clint looked pretty tired himself; sure, he just came back from a mission. So she got up, said her goodnight to everybody and stepped into the elevator and just before the doors shut, Clint stepped in and leant his head against the wall with a sigh. They rode down to their floor in silence, with Natasha leaning against his side.

When they stepped out of the elevator, Natasha made her way to the bed and almost immediately crept under the cool blanket. After a while, however, she noticed Clint was still not there with her. She sighed and got up again, rubbing her stomach while she made her way over to Clint's new favorite place, the nursery.

But instead of sitting on the huge window sill, he sat in the middle of the room on the floor and stared at the wall. Natasha walked over to him and sat down next to him slowly with a hand still on her belly.

"You okay?" she whispered after a while. She saw him nod his head and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"What about some butterflies?" Natasha asked after a moment. "I mean for the room" she clarified at the questioning look he gave her. "Because it feels like I've got a little butterfly in here" she said softly, stroking her belly again.  
The little movement from inside of her made it all even more real to her, that they were going to be parents.

Clint laughed a little and she joined him, then he placed a little kiss on her stomach.

"Then we'll get some butterflies for this little butterfly" he said with a little chuckle.

"We should really start to get this room ready. Only four more months" she said softly, still running her hand over her belly.

"We'll make it, Tash" Clint spoke softly and gave her a kiss.


	13. Another Mission

When they laid in bed later, Clint just couldn't find sleep. He laid comfortable, Natasha with her head on his chest like always… but something bothered him. When he glanced at the clock and it read three thirty six, he sighed. He placed a little kiss on Natasha's curls, then stood up, trying not to startle her.

He changed into his sweatpants and a shirt, slipping on his sport shoes and putting a knife into the pocket… better safe than sorry.

He grabbed a post it and wrote a little note down for Tasha, saying he couldn't sleep and was jogging now. He placed it on his pillow next to her head and sneaked out of the bedroom again.

Before he left though, he grabbed the ultrasound photo and went to copy it, tugging the copy into his pocket.

He ran for about one and a half hours before he finally arrived where he was heading to. He stopped in front of the fence for a moment, catching his breath again. He took one deep breath, then stepped onto the path through the cemetery. When he finally reached his destination, he gulped down the lump that built in his throat.

"Hey old man" he said quietly, burring his hands in his pant pockets. "Don't know what to say, when I'm honest." Clint chuckled a little, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It sucks, Phil. It's… weird not to annoy you during a mission. I don't know why I only came now. I … thought about your letter, and I guess you're right. We could have something like a normal life… I'm really scared, I don't know how to make it, but I've got a feeling we can do it somehow. Well… "He sighed again and pulled the photo out of his pocket, staring at it for a little while before continuing with a smile "Nat's pregnant. We're getting a little girl. When she's here, I'll bring her, so you can see her. But I have to go now, Tasha will kick my ass when I get home… maybe I should bring her some ice cream… Here, I brought you a photo of her. Keep it safe, would ya?" he finished with a little chuckle and placed the ultrasound photo upside-down under a few flowers. He looked at the stone for a little while longer, thinking about what his handler would've said when he told him Natasha was pregnant. He probably would've kicked him before congratulating him with a wide smile. Clint laughed at this thought a little, burring his hands back in his pockets.

"See ya, old man" he said with a smirk, then he left.

He jogged back the way he came from, around seven am he reached a small store near the Tower and he bought a coffee for himself, a disgusting smelling tea for Natasha and her favorite ice cream, then walked the rest back to the Tower.

When he stepped into the elevator, Jarvis informed him that Natasha was in the living room along with Pepper and Steve. So he stopped at their apartment, put away the ice cream, changed quickly and drove up to the top floor.

He found them sitting on one of the couches, so he sat down next to Natasha and handed her the tea.

"Thanks" she said with a tired smile and laid her head down on his shoulder. Clint was glad no one asked him where exactly he went, so they talked about random stuff.

Pepper had to leave eventually, heading to a business meeting for Tony. Steve went down to check 'If Tony, Bruce and Thor were still alive' since no one has seen them since they left last night at… three am the living room to show Thor their lab.

So it was just Clint and Natasha for now. Clint sat down at the end of the couch to massage her feet. After a while she spoke up though, sipping from her tea.

"When did you leave?"  
Clint sighed before answering.

"Around… four?" he said with a grin and she shook her head, but kept running her hand over her stomach.

"Where did you go?" she asked softly after a while. He thought about it for a moment, staring at his hands.

"I – visited Phil" he answered quietly and when he looked up at her, she was smiling and he smiled back at her.

"That's good" she said absentmindedly.

"Brought you some ice cream as well" he said after a while with a little smirk and she chuckled a little.

"That's even better"

.

„Clint! No, Stop it!" Natasha yelled through their whole apartment.

"Nope" he answered while laughing. He continued to run after her through their apartment with his brush.

They were finally painting the walls in the nursery, but Clint got bored and started to paint Natasha instead of the walls. Her arms were already purple and on her white shirt was a huge smiley all over her belly.

When she finally could snatch the brush out of his hand she began to paint him from head to toe.

Eventually, when they both were grey and purple everywhere, Clint pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly, lazily mumbling a "love you" against her lips.

"You're an idiot" she said with a smile.

"I know" he grinned.

After a while they finally got back to work. When two and a half of the three walls were ready, they were visited from Tony and Thor.

"Ey, wha-  **what** **exactly**  did you do here?" Tony asked when they stepped into the Nursery.

"We painted?" Clint suggested from where he sat on the floor, lazily painting.

"Yeah I see that" Tony chuckled, looking around the room.

"Then why do you ask?" Clint countered with a grin and Tony just let it fall and sat down on the window sill, poking Clint's head with his foot.

"When… does your little warrior arrive?" Thor asked, a little confused by the whole situation. Clint and Tony started to laugh at Thor's name for their baby, Natasha raised an eyebrow, but smiled a little.

"In around four months" she answered and he nodded, looking around the room again.

"Did you pick a name yet?" Tony asked when he caught his breath again. Natasha shook her head, laid the brush down and sat down on the window sill as well.

"Nope"

They all jumped a little when Tony suddenly stood in front of them and clapped into his hands.

"Then here are my super awesome top name suggestions!"

"Oh god" Clint mumbled and buried his face in his hands.

"Uhm… Tony"

"No." Clint and Natasha said in common.

"Antonia"

"No. Tony, we'll  **not**  name her after you." Clint said firmly and Tony whined dramatically, but continued anyways.

"Sarah"

"No"

"… Katniss?" he asked with a cautious face.

"And we certainly won't call her like an archer in a book, Stark." Natasha said with a sigh.

"But-"

"No!" they both yelled at him.

Thor stood in the back of the room with his arms crossed and chuckled. He was just observing and found the whole situation pretty funny.

"June?"

"That is… better" Natasha said after a little while and Tony continued, ignoring how annoyed the others were.

"Okay, at least something. Now we go on with Russian names" he said excitedly and they both rolled their eyes, Thor chuckled again.

"Olga" Natasha only raised an eyebrow and he chuckled. "Just a joke. Uhm… Dina? No? Mh… Alina?"

"Stark, just let it be" Natasha sighed annoyed and rested her head against the cool glass of the huge window. Tony grumbled something unintelligible but turned back around to Thor to continue his discussion with him about bringing Jane to the Tower, so they left eventually.

As soon as they were out of the room, Clint groaned dramatically and fell face first onto the floor, causing Natasha to laugh a little.

"Come on, we need to finish this all" she said and he rolled over the floor before eventually getting up and they painted the rest.

.

Later, when they were about to sleep finally, they discussed about the names Stark said earlier.

"You liked any of them?" Clint asked and felt Natasha shake her head on his chest a little.

"No, not really. I like June, but I don't think it'd fit… Alina was better… I don't know why, but I think a Russian name… I mean-"

"I know what you mean, Tash" Clint chuckled as Natasha didn't find the right words to describe her thoughts. "I'd like a Russian name as well. It doesn't need to be an… extreme Russian name, but something… I don't know" he admitted and they both chuckled a little.

"God, if we continue with that, she'll never have a name" Natasha laughed and Clint chimed in.

"We'll come up with something" he said and kissed her hair. She nodded and snuggled closer to him.

.

It was a few days later when Clint and Natasha were back at base because Clint had a mission.

Most of the agents have calmed down with the rumors and stupid looks, just a few that weren't yet threatened by Natasha were still talking stupid stuff. Natasha was still frightening, even when she was pregnant…  **especially**  when she was pregnant.

Steve came with them today, because, after Thor left again to visit Jane before returning to Asgard, and Tony and Bruce locked themselves away in the lab and Pepper had to run Stark industries, he was bored. So he just came along and trained a bit, or sat with Natasha when Clint left. Right now he was training and Natasha told Clint the final details about the mission.

It was pretty easy. Fury seemed to not risk too much with him yet, but that didn't bother any of them. Clint was glad to have at least some easier missions for now.

So, he just needed to fly a jet to a forest near Philadelphia to take out a guy, which deals drugs and such stuff, who's hiding there.

"Don't mess it up, okay?" Natasha said softly, when he was about to leave.

"Tasha… I don't think I could mess something that easy up, not even if I'd try" he answered with a chuckle, trying to make her smile a bit. He knew she'd prefer to come with him, even with such an easy mission.

She only gave him a look.

"I know you're able to mess everything up." she said, but chuckled eventually. He smiled down at her and gave her a kiss, then kneeled down to place a kiss on her belly.

"Be nice to your mommy, little bird" he said and Natasha slapped him on the back of his head lightly, but with a smile on her face.

"What? Should I better call her… little spider?" Clint asked with a grin as he stood up again and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Better stay with your bird names then" she said and kissed him once again. "Get going, Barton"

"Yes, Miss" he chuckled and saluted, causing her to roll her eyes again. He placed one final kiss on her cheek, mumbling a 'love you', and then left to the jets.

Natasha sighed and sat down on her seat in front of the computer screen, rubbing her belly again. She loved the fluttering feeling the baby caused.

So she sat there, looking through the mission details again and waited for Clint to talk to her again.

While she waited, Steve came back from his training and sat down in the room with her. They sat in comfortable silence until Clint's voice filled the room.

"Nat, I'm bored" he whined and she rolled her eyes while Steve laughed quietly.

"God Barton, you're gone for not even thirty minutes"

"Does that matter? I'm still bored"

"Shouldn't you concentrate on flying a jet?"

"Nah, you know these things have an autopilot" he answered and she could hear his smirk.

Steve chuckled to himself, then stood up from where he sat.

"I'm gonna grab some coffee. You want something, too? A tea?"

Natasha nodded with a smile, saying a 'yes' and then he left.

"You… didn't feel the need to tell me you weren't alone, did you?" Clint asked and she chuckled a little.

"Nope. It was just Steve, Clint."

She heard him sigh and could imagine him shaking his head with a smile.

They stayed quiet for a little while and Natasha just wanted to speak up, when there was a loud noise and Clint cursed under his breath.

"What was that?" she asked, trying to sound calm. For a long minute she heard nothing from him except of his cursing. "Clint, what's going on?" she tried again, and that's when Steve walked in again, a little perplexed.

"The jet's been shot" she heard him finally say. She could hear him shooting as well, she could hear the bullets hitting the jet and she could hear him curse again. "They hit an engine, I gotta try and land" the words barely left his mouth and she could hear him take a sharp breath, and she knew he'd been hit by something.

Steve stepped closer now, looking at the mission details on Natasha's screen. He tried to figure out if there were any guards or something, but it only said the mark was with two guards hiding in the woods with no particular weapons. False information then.

"Clint, try to hit them, then land somewhere away and we'll pick you up." She was aware of the fact that he knew pretty fine how to handle such situations, but she didn't know what else to say.

"I- I would if I'd have any control" he sounded pretty injured, he was out of breath, and suddenly she heard a loud bang. She flinched and she knew the back of the jet has been blown off.

"Clint?" she heard herself sob and she held her hand in front of her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs. "Clint" she tried again.

"I'm gonna crash, Nat"

"I know" she whispered. "The jet's on its way, Clint. We'll be there in no time, just stay awake" She felt a few tears streaming down her cheek while she furiously tipped around on the screen, giving orders to ready the jets.

"I'll try. I love y–" Clint started, and then there was only static.

The room was silent except of her few sobs. She saw Steve leave the room with his shield – wherever he got that from – and she stood up quickly and caught up with him in the hallway.

"You should stay here" he said softly, not slowing down, but motioning to her belly.

"You know I won't." she said with a shaky voice. He wanted to argue, but the determined look on her face stopped him and they walked together to the jets.

They boarded the smaller, faster jet and this, along with the one with the medical team, started to fly to the coordinates of Clint's jet.

It was unbearable silent in the jet but Natasha could finally stop the sobs and tears.

A technician tried the whole flight to get a signal to Clint's jet, with no success. When their jet landed, Natasha was the first one out, followed by Steve who'd cover her, if anyone would attack.

No one attacked them when they were still flying, so he didn't think there would be an attack, but he still had to take care that nothing's going to happen to her or the child.

Natasha made her way to the wreck in record time (with her belly).

The whole back of the jet was gone, it was only the cockpit and it was completely deformed and there were a lot of bullet holes and –marks.

She stopped in front of it and took a deep breath, then stepped over the rubble and looked for Clint. She found him lying under rubble. He looked dead.

Natasha noticed Steve staying on the spot behind her, not coming closer to him or her. She stepped over another few pieces and then she kneeled down beside him.

The first thing she did was to check his pulse and she was so damn relieved to feel one.

She tapped him lightly on the cheek he groaned. As she placed her hand over the huge wound in his abdomen to keep pressure on it, he gasped and blinked.

"Clint" she said with such a relief in her voice. He groaned again and opened his eyes slightly.

"Tasha?" his voice was barely audible, but Natasha nodded her head and felt tears well up again.

"Yeah, it's me" she said softly and his eyes began to close again, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "No. No, no, no, stay awake Clint. The jet's here in a minute, just stay awake" her voice broke at the end, but he understood her and cracked his eyes open again.

"I – I came up with - a name" he whispered and took her hand. She didn't say anything, he continued anyways. "Wha- What about… Alexandra? It's Russian but not – too strange, I – thought it would fit"

Natasha nodded her head with a smile. The name sounded perfect. She took his hand and placed it on the right side of her belly.

"I think she likes it, too"

Clint's almost closed eyes 'shot' open again when he felt it.

"She kicked" he rasped, staring at their hands. "She kicked, Tasha, she-" he couldn't quite finish because he choked on blood that flooded his mouth.

Natasha soothed him a bit, but his hand fell down and his eyes fluttered again. But when he found the strength, he placed his hand, with help of Natasha, back on her belly.

"Be nice t- to your mommy, Alex" he whispered and choked on blood again and his hand grew limb and his eyes closed again.

"The jet's here" Steve informed her and led the medical team to them.

When Natasha looked back from Steve to Clint, his eyes were closed again. She started to panic, but she forced herself to check his pulse again and it fluttered dangerously. She tried to wake him but it didn't work and the tears now streamed over her face again. And then there was the medical team, taking care of him and Steve pulled her away from them.

He laid his arm around her shoulder and they both stared at the team taking care of Clint.

They were finally about to leave the wreckage, when something exploded where the jets were.

Steve ran outside the rumble and saw the little jet standing in flames. The larger jet for the medicals was still okay, though.

He was relieved when he saw the two pilots of the burning jet standing up from the floor. They were probably hit by the shockwave, but seemed to be uninjured.

They were running in Steve's direction, but he waved them off to get into the jet. Then bullets flew around. He ducked behind his shield and ran back to the wreckage, trying to get them into the jet and out of here.

They were lucky it were just a few bullets; Steve ducked Natasha under his arm and brought her back to the jet, then ran back and shielded the medical team and Clint. As soon as they were all inside the jet, the pilots flew it away with high speed.

Steve made sure no one followed them and reported at base. Natasha sat quietly in her seat, where she could look closely at Clint. She had her hand, covered in Clint's blood, placed on his bloody hand print on her shirt, where the baby kicked for the first time.

She could feel her move around a lot, kicking a few times.

Steve sat down beside her eventually and they stared in silence at the doctors working.

Until Clint's heart stopped.


	14. Funny, Stark

They were finally back at base now and Clint was immediately brought into surgery.

Steve took care of Natasha, what meant he stopped her from running around screaming at anyone she'd see.

They sat in a waiting room in the infirmary, waiting for news.  
Steve told an agent to tell the others what happened and Bruce and Tony were with them in no time. No one said a word, knowing how Natasha would probably react.

Not even Tony said anything. And when Tony says nothing, it has to be serious.

They waited for hours, but it felt like weeks, until finally Dr. Stevens stepped into the waiting room.

"He … is alive" he said and they all sighed. He spoke further, explaining stuff only Bruce seemed to understand, but before he even said it aloud, Natasha knew it. "He's in a coma"

Natasha stopped listening after that, she took deep breaths in order to stay calm. She had her eyes closed and her hand placed on her belly, feeling the baby move again.

Steve noticed her shiver and he laid his jacket around her shoulders. That seemed to bring her back to reality and she turned to face him with a thankful, but scared look. He gave her a little encouraging smile, that didn't quite work though.

Natasha turned her gaze back to the floor, taking deep breaths and gulping down the lump in her throat.

"Can I see him?" she asked quietly, looking back up to the doc.

He seemed to think about it a moment, but he knew the both of them long enough to know that they won't leave each other's side when they were injured. So he nodded his head and motioned for her to follow him.

She stood up slowly and followed him to Clint's room, keeping Steve's jacket for now, 'cause she was still shivering and … she really didn't care for his jacket at the moment.

They stepped into the room and Natasha was sure Stevens lied. That Clint wasn't alive. That he was dead and she was left alone with the baby. She still thought he was dead, even when she heard the beep of the heart monitor. How could a little beep tell her that he was alive, even though he looked so dead?

Natasha hadn't noticed the doc leaving the room, also she hadn't noticed the few tears escaping her eyes.

She gulped again and stepped closer to the bed, sitting down on the chair next to him. For a while she just stared at him, at all the bandages, stitches, tubes… She's seen him in bad conditions, far too often, seen him in a coma as well, but this time it was different. Because she was pregnant and probably left alone with the baby.

Before she knew it she was crying and sobbing and she just whished this all to be over with. But she knew this wasn't going to end soon. This was serious and she was lucky if Clint would wake up at all.

"Please Clint. I can't do this on my own. I can't" she sobbed quietly and placed his hand in hers.

.

"Can I come in?" Steve asked quietly from the doorway.

Natasha looked up from their intervened fingers with red eyes, and gave him the slightest nod.  
He closed the door quietly and sat down in the chair next to her.

"You should sleep, Natasha. That's not healthy. For neither of you two" he said softly, gesturing to her belly, but she shook her head.

"I can't" she whispered, looking down at their hands again. Steve sighed, he had expected her to say that.

"Natasha, you have to. You need to think of that little girl there. I… can stay here, if you want. Or I could get Bruce, even Tony would stay here, Pepper would, too. You just can't sit here, not eating nor sleeping. You don't even have to go back to the Tower, you still have your quarter here, don't you? You'd be here in no time, if something would happen."

"I know" she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She had to admit to herself how tired she was. She didn't want to leave, but she knew it wasn't good for her and the baby, so she sighed again and let go of Clint's hand to stand up. She pulled out of Steve's jacket and handed it back to him, then walked to the door.

"Thanks, Steve" she said quietly, then left to her quarter, trying to catch at least a few hours of sleep.

.

It was four days later that Natasha found herself sitting on the little couch in her quarter with a cup of now cold tea in her hand and Pepper sitting next to her.

Tony had somehow managed to get her out of Clint's room and Pepper had managed to visit her, trying to change her mind.

It… didn't quite work though.

Except of a few shakes or nods of her head, Natasha didn't talk at all. But Pepper still managed to get her to eat something. Hell, she managed to keep Tony alive over the years as his assistant, so she was able to force some food into a pregnant assassin.

Pepper sighed again and tried to talk with her about the nursery, but before the words left her mouth she knew this was no good topic to talk about.

Natasha grabbed the cup so hard her knuckles turned white, she gulped hard and Pepper could see tears swelling up in her eyes. She immediately apologized, but Natasha stood up, placed the cup on the coffee table and walked out of the quarter again.

She walked through the long hallways back to the infirmary, ignoring the other agents looks.

She arrived at Clint's room to see Tony standing in front of the window, looking inside the room. He had his hands behind his head and wore a terrified, wide-eyed expression, taking short little breaths.

Natasha stood next to him and looked into the room as well, and her heart skipped a beat.

There was a team of S.H.I.E.L.D doctors and nurses, hovering over Clint's bed. She saw someone trying to reanimate him, and she was already opening the door when Stark grabbed her by the arm.  
She looked at him and he shook his head, mumbling something she couldn't understand because of the rushing in her ears, and he grabbed her other arm as well, pulling her away from the door.

Natasha felt her lip quiver and she bit down on it, trying to stifle the sobs.

Neither of them knew how that happened, but suddenly she was lying in Tony's arms, trying to stop the tears. He was a little shocked at first but then he ran a hand over her back and hair, trying to calm her a little. He wasn't good at this, not with Pepper, nor with someone else, but Natasha panicked and he really didn't want to deal with her screaming or what else… She was even worse when she was pregnant than she normally was.

After a while a doctor stepped out of the room finally and they pulled away again. She told them what exactly happened, and that he was okay now, but Natasha couldn't see him for a while now. Somehow she accepted it and eventually, after glancing one last look through the window, seeing Clint with even more tubes and monitors, she left and walked back to her quarter, ignoring Pepper on her way there, as she passed her in the hallway.

.

Natasha has barricaded herself in her room for two days now, because she still wasn't allowed to see Clint and she didn't want to deal with the team.  
None of them was able to talk to her and no one had an idea of what to do to get her out again.

But now Steve had enough of this all and a thought hit him. He went to talk to Fury and then drove back to the Tower to get Tony and plan.

They went back to S.H.I.E.L.D then and Steve boarded a jet with a team of agents, Tony flew ahead.

They were going to finish Clint's mission for him and find that guys that did this to him and Natasha.

.

The next day, Natasha was finally allowed to see him again, but when she stepped out of her room she was surprised that no one was there.  
Well, but honestly she couldn't care less, she was glad she could see Clint again and she was even more glad that the team let her be.

So she walked down the long hallways to the infirmary, like always ignoring the stupid looks of the agents at her bump.

She reached Clint's room, and in front of it, on a bench, sat Steve and Tony, each of them trying to shoo a nurse away.  
They were beaten up, both had wounds and bruises everywhere.

"Where have you been?" Natasha asked with wide eyes when the nurses finally left.

"Oh, just… finishing something up…" Tony shrugged.

"You didn't really fly down there, did you? What –"

"Hey, we finished the mission, we caught the guys that caused all this" Tony interrupted her, gesturing to Clint's room.

Steve mentally face palmed himself for that comment.

"You two are damn idiots" Natasha muttered while shaking her head, before walking past them and into Clint's room.

Once inside she sat down again on her chair next to the bed and grabbed his hand.

"God, Clint, you need to wake up. I can't do this on my own" she whispered after a while, and when she felt the baby kick again, she carefully placed his hand on the spot where she felt it. "Please Clint, we need you" she was sobbing now. "Alex needs you. She needs a father, Clint. Please wake up" she said barely audible.

.

And so the days went on and on. Natasha sitting at Clint's bed, grabbing his hand while talking to him. She was aware of the Tony, Bruce and Steve, sometimes Pepper, Hill or even Fury, watching her through the window. Even when she was pregnant, she was still a spy after all. But honestly, she didn't care for anything they thought at the moment. The only thing in her mind was the baby and Clint. He hadn't gotten better, but he hadn't gotten worse as well, so…

The team somehow managed to force her to eat enough, and get some sleep, which was mostly quickly interrupted by a nightmare.

When Natasha wasn't in Clint's room, the team took shifts to keep an eye on Clint. That was the only way getting her out of the room; to promise her to keep an eye on him and immediately tell her when something happens.

So, after a lot of days, when Natasha tried to sleep, Tony was in Clint's room, tipping around on his phone.

When he noticed movement out of the corner of his eyes. He looked over to the bed and found Clint clenching his hands into fists and pressing his eyes together tightly.

Tony leant forward in his seat, trying to come up with an idea of what was happening.

When he finally realised that Clint was waking up, he quickly sent Natasha a text message. After a little while of thinking, Tony came up with something and an evil grin spread across his face. It would take some time till Natasha would be here.

Clint moaned quietly and slowly, so slowly, his eyes cracked open a little. He was already about to panic, when he felt a comforting hand on his forearm and he glanced down to the hand, following up the arm and landing on Stark's face.

"Tony?" he asked quietly, his voice rough and tired. Tony nodded, took away his hand and sat down in the chair again with a sorry look.

"What happened? Where's Tasha?" Tony shook his head and looked down at his hands before answering.

"Your jet's been shot down, Natasha and Steve went to get you back… They were hit as well… she didn't make it. I'm sorry."

Clint was hard trying to read his lips, cause he hadn't have his hearing aids. When he finally understood, he was hard trying to keep his eyes open.

"What?" he could hear his heartbeat speed up, due to the heart monitor. Tony looked at him with an apologetic look.

„I'm sorry"

„That's not funny, Stark"

Clint's eyes were so heavy, but he forced them to stay open.

"I'm not joking, I'm really not"

"I guess it's not that good then, that she's standing behind ya?" he asked quietly with a weak grin. It took Stark a time to understand what he meant, but when he did, his eyes grew wide. He looked behind him and Natasha stood behind him, with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him again like she would rip him into pieces.

He jumped up and burst through the door.

Natasha shook her head at him, but then she glanced back at Clint, and she was never that relieved in her whole live.

She pulled the chair nearer to the bed and grabbed his hand.

"Don't ever do that again, Barton" she said, looking at him with a weak smile and tears in her eyes. "I thought we'd lose you" she whispered, although she knew he couldn't hear her.

"I'm sorry, Tash" he whispered, trying to look her in the eyes, but everything became a blur and he knew he was unconscious again within a minute or so.

Natasha noticed and nodded, placing a kiss on his forehead and then he was already asleep.


	15. A new team member

Natasha stayed at Clint's side, holding his hand in hers, waiting patiently for him to wake up again. It took almost 3 hours until he moved again.

He slowly cracked his eyes open, looking at her tiredly. She immediately began to smile, it was too long since she saw his eyes.

He took some deep breaths, then grinned his idiotic grin at her.

"Hey" he whispered roughly and she shook her head at him with a smile while answering him. "Hey"

She noticed him trying to reach up to the nightstand for his hearing aids, Natasha always made sure they were in his reach when he was in the infirmary. He was too weak though, so she grabbed them for him and, because he couldn't even lift his hand properly, placed them in his ears as well.

"Thanks" he mumbled, avoiding her gaze. She knew he hated to be so helpless, she was the same when she was injured.

"Clint, it's okay" she said softly and he looked back up at her.

"How long?" he asked finally while running his thumb over the back of her hand. Natasha sighed, looked down at their hands for a second before looking him back in the eyes.

"28 days" she said quietly, trying to read is expression.

He gulped hard, contorting his face in pain, and so he closed his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths.

He then nodded slowly, mumbling "Okay" and then opened his eyes again, looking tiredly into Natasha's eyes.

"I love you, Clint" she said softly, trying to change his mind.

"I love you, Tash" he mumbled with a little smile. She smiled back at him and placed his hand on her bump.

"She missed you. She kept kicking around since the first time." She avoided saying something that makes him feel uncomfortable.

Clint stared intently at his hand on her belly, trying to memorize the feeling of their girl kicking against his hand.

"Hey little bird" he whispered, moving his thumb over Natasha's skin.

"We need to finish the nursery" he said when she stopped moving around under his hand.

"God Clint, you're awake for not even thirty minutes after almost a month, and you already think about what to do when you're out of here?" Natasha asked while shaking her head at him.

He only shrugged with a smirk.

"I'm planning to be out of here in a few days" he said jokingly and laughed a little, what caused more pain to spread across his chest and his laughter ended up in a wince.

Natasha laid a comforting hand on his forehead, running it through his hair.

They stayed silent for a while, until Tony's head popped through the door.

"You better get out of here, Stark" Natasha said, not looking at him.

"Hey, just that we understand. That… earlier… was for worrying us all that much, Barton!" he said, then he left again.

Clint gave Natasha a confused look and she shook her head before answering.

"They all were here almost the entire time. They were really worried, Clint."

He was surprised to hear that. They all knew each other for only about six months now, and they still cared for him that much though? Now he felt a little guilty… But come on, it wasn't his fault that they shot down the jet.

.

The days passed mostly like that. Natasha was almost the entire time with Clint, doctors kept looking after him, sometimes the team visited him as well. Even Fury came once, but only to know exactly what happened out there.

Clint recovered quickly, though he was only released when Natasha was already at the end of the seventh month.

He was glad to be back at the Tower at least. He still wasn't allowed to train and such things, and Fury sent him into "vacation", he wouldn't send him on any missions for now, due to the fact that he wasn't fit for that, as well as the fact that Fury was tired of seeing one of his best agents get injured mission after mission. He would give him observation missions, but after all that happened after Clint's last observation mission, he just gave him some time off.

Clint didn't mind at all. He and Natasha were finally able to finish the nursery, with a little help from the rest of the team, because it was obvious that Natasha couldn't really lift that much now, and Clint was still too weak.

The three walls were a nice purple and grey with butterflies all over the walls. On the huge window sill laid a lot of pillows and blankets and a few stuffed animals Tony brought along. The furniture was white and simple, they even got a rocking chair, because Pepper insisted to buy one, though Natasha didn't really want one at first.

And, mostly because of Tony (really, he was more excited than Natasha and Clint were), everywhere were toys, stuffed animals, clothes and other stuff.

Pepper had to drag Tony out of the stores, otherwise he'd bought everything he'd see.

.

At the end of November, Thor came back to earth. Tony talked very long with him, but eventually Thor agreed to bring Jane with him, if she was okay with that. A few days later he stood on the balcony with her, trying to shield her from the November rain.

She looked really cowed by facing the Avengers, but they were all very nice to her. Soon she felt very comfortable around them. Well, but you could tell she was pretty surprised to see a pregnant spy. Sure, Thor told her about Natasha being pregnant, but that she was **that** pregnant surprised her.

Jane stayed for a few days, almost everyday hearing Tony ask her or Thor when she was moving in. Every time she blushed and tried to get away as fast as possible.

So they agreed, that everytime when Thor visited, he brought her along for a few days. They all came pretty good along with each other, so she was happy to come back.

.

Thor and Jane were gone again, and soon it was December and they all got ready for Christmas, as well as the new addition to their team; Natasha's due day was getting closer.

It was the first snow fall, and Natasha sat in the rocking chair staring out onto the city through the huge window in the nursery. She didn't want to admit it, but she liked the chair and was grateful Pepper forced them to buy it.

She had a really restless night, so she stood up early and since then she sat here, just trying to stop the baby from kicking all the time. This little girl really came after her and Clint, she was almost all the time kicking or at least moving. Most of the time she started just when Natasha wanted to sleep.

Around seven am she heard Clint shuffle into the room. She turned around a bit and gave him a little smile. He rubbed his tired eyes like a little boy, unhappy to be awake already. He mumbled something unintelligible and sat down on the floor beside her, contorting his face a little at his sore rips. He still hasn't recovered hundred percent, but he was okay.

"How are you?" Natasha asked, threading her hand through his hair.

"I'm not the nine months pregnant here" he said with a tired smirk.

"No, but you're the one that spent a month in a coma and still hasn't recovered completely."

Clint shook his head with a grin, but they let the topic fall.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked from where he was now lying on his back on the floor.

"No, I think she wants out, she kept moving around, all the time trying to kick me in the rips."

"She's definitely your daughter" he laughed, now waking up completely. Natasha just rolled her eyes at him with a smirk.

.

A few days later, Natasha woke up in the middle of the night because of a hard kick from the little girl. She looked around and noticed that Clint was gone. She sighed and stood up slowly with a hand on her belly. She slipped on a cardigan before stepping out of their room. She looked inside the nursery, but Clint wasn't there. She walked further, towards the elevator, when a cool breeze hit her and she turned around to see the balcony door slightly open. She made her way over to the glass door and looked outside.

The snow hadn't stopped, so the whole balcony was white.

She looked to the left and, next to the door, Clint sat against the wall, barefoot, only in his t-shirt and sweatpants, his head resting on his knees and he was shivering hard. He stared ahead with scarred eyes and he seemed to not acknowledge her. She saw that he had his hearing aids inside his ears so she spoke softly, crossing her arms over her chest to keep herself warm.

"Clint?" she spoke softly and quietly, but still it startled him and he jumped up, but stopped halfway when a stinging pain shot through his rips again. He clutched his side tightly, then he slowly got up completely.

He now noticed it was Natasha and he looked her in the eyes. He looked really pathetic. His whole body was shaking, he had snow in his hair and everywhere else, and he looked tired and scarred and hurt.

"Come inside, Clint" she said softly, and after a moment he nodded his head lamely, but didn't move, so she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside again, closing the door and telling Jarvis to get it a little warmer here.

She led him to the couch and laid a blanket over his shoulders, then she went to make him some hot coffee.

She placed the hot cup in his stiff hands and sat down beside him, snuggling close to him to keep him warm.

He even drank a few sips, then there were a few silent tears rolling over his frozen cheeks. Natasha noticed and placed the cup on the coffee table, then wrapped her arms around his shaking form.

After a while he still hadn't calmed down really.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered, not pulling back, but keep running her hand along his spine. She heard him take a few, deep breaths for a minute or so before he spoke up quietly.

"He was back… back in my head. Alex was here already… he… he wanted me to kill you. To kill you both. I… I could do nothing against it. I… I killed you b- both, and th- then he left, but he wouldn't let me die, he… he made sure I'd never forget what I did." He was crying now, that all was just too real.

Natasha held him close a little while longer, trying to comprehend what he just told. But then she took a deep breath and pulled away slightly, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"He's not coming back, Clint. He never will. I won't let him take you away from me again. Never. You will be a great dad, Clint, and I know you will never hurt her. He's never going to take control over you again, trust me" She spoke softly, but forcefully, trying to convince him.

"What if he's still inside of my mind, just waiting to - just waiting to get back into control again?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"Then I get to use cognitive recalibration again" she said with a smirk and he couldn't help but smile as well. But when he looked up at her again, she saw he still wanted a serious answer. "He won't" was all she said.

"How can you know?"

"I just know it" she shrugged and he seemed to be okay with that, because he gave her a little smile and leant his head against her shoulder again. He was still shivering, so Natasha pulled the blanket tightly around them, rubbing his back in order to get him warm again.

They stayed that way for a long time, until he finally felt better and wasn't shivering anymore.

But they knew they wouldn't sleep again tonight, so they just stayed awake and watched a little bit TV. At around five am, Natasha got up to grab something to eat, but when she came back to the sofa, she stopped halfway and looked at Clint with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, while he stood up and approached her.

"My water just broke" she mumbled and Clint's eyes grew wide as well. He stayed surprisingly calm, he walked back into their bedroom, grabbed her bag she packed a few days before and walked back into the living room. Natasha was still standing where she stood before he left, and she looked scarred. He approached her and laid his hands on her shoulders, looking her deep in the eyes.

"It's all going to be perfectly fine, Nat. I love you" he said softly and placed a kiss on her lips and… yeah, she felt better. Well, at least until the first contraction hit.

Clint grabbed her by the arm and guided her to the elevator. They boarded their car and Clint quickly drove to the hospital, hoping Natasha wasn't in that much pain yet.

He held her hand through the whole drive, which she grabbed tightly sometimes. All the while he tried to calm her and told her it was going to be all right.

When they arrived at the hospital, they brought them up into a room and a doctor looked for her, saying it would still take some time.

So Clint tried hours to calm her down, getting her anything she (mostly) yelled for, telling her she did fine. She just yelled at him and cursed him, mostly in Russian or other languages.

When it finally came to the actual birth, Natasha cursed him and every other human in her room in every language she knew. She almost broke Clint's hand, but he kept telling her nice things.

And then there was a damn loud scream filling the room and Natasha sobbed of relive.

The doctor handed her the little girl for a moment and she just couldn't help but cry. This little, screaming girl let her forget about all her years of training and self-control within two seconds.

She wanted to scream at them when they took her away from her again, but they told her they just wanted to make sure she was healthy.

Natasha looked over to Clint and found him starring ahead with wide eyes, though she noticed a few tears welling up in his eyes.

"She's here" she mumbled softly, brushing away a few of her own tears. Clint smiled down at her finally, but he didn't say a word, he just kissed her softly.

And soon the little family was left alone, with their completely healthy little girl.

Clint laid down onto the bed next to Natasha, looking at their beautiful little daughter. He noticed that she was hard trying not to fall asleep, so he leant over and placed a kiss on her temple.

"You did great, Tash. Get some sleep" he whispered and she nodded her head tiredly. Clint stood up, giving her more space, and carefully lifted the little pink bundle up in his arms. Natasha was asleep within a minute and his little girl was sleeping as well. He walked around the room a little, never looking up from her.

She was so small, he was scared to hurt her, to do something wrong, but the little voice in the back of his mind, that kept telling him what was right and what not, told him he did the right things and that he was going to make it all right. And again he preferred to believe this voice.

He sat down in a chair and stroked his finger gently over her cheek, humming a random song to her.

It was on December 13th, eight thirty am, that Alexandra Barton joined the Avengers.


	16. Epiloque

Due to Natasha's plenty threats and protests, they were allowed to go back to the Tower in the evening.

When they stepped out of their car and into the elevator, Natasha handed Clint the little girl, happy how his face lit up when he held his daughter. They drove up into the main room in silence. When the doors opened, Natasha stepped out first, and was immediately 'greeted' by Tony.

"Where have you guys been all –" he started, but stopped when he saw Clint walk in. "What the hell?! Wha-" he exclaimed and for the first time, Tony Stark was really speechless. He stared at them with wide eyes, his mouth open, completely dumbfounded.

By now Steve, Bruce and Pepper stepped out of the kitchen and were as shocked as Tony was. They all stammered around, trying to come up with complete words but failing.

Natasha shook her head with a tired chuckle, sitting down on one of the stools with a sigh.

Again Pepper reacted faster than the rest, hugging Natasha and congratulating her. The others came out of their shocks and congratulated them as well. Clint sat down on a stool next to her, still looking down at his little bird. She was awake, staring up at him with his eyes and a shock of red hair on her head.

"So uhm… don't you think we should know her name, or do you want me to give her a name?" Tony asked, leaning against the counter.

„Better for you if you stay by Alexandra, Stark" Clint mumbled, still looking her in the eyes.

"That's a nice name" Pepper said softly, looking down at the little baby in his arms.

They talked a little while longer, everyone saying on …their own way, how cute she was and how happy they were for them.

Eventually Natasha and Clint left though, taking care of Alex and lying her down in her crib. They didn't want to leave her, but Natasha was just so tired, she almost fell asleep standing, so Clint carried her out of the nursery eventually, lying down in bed with her.

"Thank you, Tasha" he whispered into her ear and she mumbled something unintelligible, before falling asleep.

Around thirty minutes later, Clint crept out of the bed again and into the nursery. He pulled the rocking chair nearer to the Crip and he sat down on it, keeping his eyes trained on his little girl, his little bird, trying to comprehend that all, trying to comprehend that he had a daughter now, that he and Natasha were parents.

He really couldn't believe anything of that all, but honestly, he didn't care at all. For the moment he was unbelievable happy, and that was all that mattered right now.


End file.
